Tag Archives: writing

Meek Confession

16 Jan

I am and will always remain an aspiring writer.  I’m too scared to write what I really want to write, and so I write generic stuff.  Writing topically will never get me there, yes I know.  I wonder what it would be like to strip myself bare and write all that’s to be written… what would then remain of me…?  What scares me… my words or how my words may be (mis)judged?

At times, I have dared to bare my soul but I always stop myself halfway or rather within a quarter.  Then I start polishing the language until it becomes generic and so it will always be… :sigh:  Some day, I shall be strong.  One day, I shall write like I don’t care.  That day I shall become a writer in true sense….

Until then…

Let me talk about my movie marathon with a film-fanatic-friend [FFF].  This FFF and I are now estranged… we’ve lost touch… we’ve cut ties or rather I think I did the honour of cutting ties with him.  Well, last time we saw each other we reminisced our movie marathon era… it was either his place, his films and my chips or the other way round… “films” was the only bond between us and so our filmy bond was flimsy and flitting…

All that now remains is the memory of the bygone movie marathon memory!!!

via Daily Prompt: Marathon

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Vanish, if you must

5 Dec

People say I am very good at “the vanishing act”. I do not doubt the “people”.  So from an expert, in case you might want to carry out “the vanishing act”, here are 5 things you need to do to VANISH into thin air:

  1. De-activate your Facebook account.
  2. Quit your full-time job, do some freelancing instead.
  3. Get a new mobile number.
  4. Get a new hairstyle.
  5. Travel to a new place (at least for a month).

What makes me the expert???  Well, I have burnt bridges… I have burnt so many of them that if this were literal, I would have ashes measuring the height of [probably] the Eiffel Tower…   Yes, oh yes, I do exaggerate… But then again, I have burnt bridges a lot… you know what I mean…

Do I have regret burning bridges?  No.  When you know the bridges are weighing you down, methinks it’s better to burn them instead of getting weighed down.  As a young woman, I wasted my time and energy in trying to save the bridges that were drowning me.  Then, I used to think that the only way to keep myself from drowning was to be weighed down by the bridge that was already under water.  So, no regrets, whatsoever.

Although I do think of the relationships that I have had to forsake.  They were good friends… great friends… at one point of time.  Misunderstanding, miscommunication, misapprehension, misreading expressions, misleading conclusions, mistaken mistakes and many more mis-es led up to the demise of such relationships.  I say demise because these burnt bridges, these ended friendships, can never be rebuilt, can never be rekindled.

Soon, we learn to leave with who we have.  Soon, we don’t need the urge to vanish. Soon, other people will fill the places left vacant.  Slowly we heal, and surely with scars.

So, let us not worry about vanishing, if that helps us give our “self” back.  So, let us not worry about burning bridges, if that helps us from keeping afloat.  So let us vanish if we must!!!

via Daily Prompt: Vanish

Never a Copycat

1 Nov

I have always prided myself in being original. I have always wanted to do things differently and often I was therefore the alien among my peers, but that didn’t faze me a bit.

Some evidences:

  • My Fashion Sense.  I am not a fashionista and I don’t spend thousands on clothes and accessories or all that ra-ra-ras.  But I love FLASHY shoes, sparkly, glittery, sequined – well the more the better for me.  Judging by how I look and what I wear this usually gives people the shock of their lives but what can I do, that’s just Meh!
  • My Crazy.  Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to watch any live sports match on TV or anywhere else.  I go craaaaaazy, either happy-crazy or silly-crazy or just raging-mad-crazy.  On the other hand, my parents and my brother are such calm audience, they can just sit calmly and watch the entire match even if their side is losing.  How is that even possible?  Maybe they aren’t into it as much as I am.  Well, who am I kidding!  I’m just crazy original or original crazy.
  • My Choice of Music.  The only musician who’s got me completely is Tracy Chapman [Wanna know more about her?  Click OneClick Two].  I have never been much of a “music person” but her music was something, is something.  I have all her albums – some gifted by my amazed friends.  Also, I do listen to other musicians but you know what I mean.
  • My Singlehood.  This was an original idea, hatched out of my LOVE for independence.  Actually, I might as well be the Copycat here, because the idea had struck after seeing my school principal, who was single then.  Maybe she is married now and has a dozen children.
  • My Life So Far.  I have tried to sketch it a little in this post.

I don’t mind being alienated for being different, but rather fear being copied.  I have never liked Copycats and I have come across many of them.  My BFF says I have the tendency to “overdo” things just so that people won’t copy me, and I hate it when she is right [which is ALWAYS] 😦

via Daily Prompt: Copycat

The One That Got Away

26 Oct

I always knew I was going to be single.  As a young child, while other kids were vying to be princesses and super heroes, there I was humming

Jingle bells jingle bells

Single all the way….

I just knew it.  My ambition in life was to be single (and to smoke when I grow up).  Maybe having these rather easy ambitions made my childhood anything but ambitious.  I mean look at the goals I had as a kid.  I still wonder if I was super smart or super opposite-of-smart to have set such achievable goals.  Or maybe just plain lazy.  Where is the hard work required of both these goals?  I don’t see any.  No wonder my life wasn’t challenging enough to push me to the edge where I could have created phenomenon like FACEBOOK or TWITTER. [Sighs in retrospect].

However, achieving the smoking goal was much easier than managing to stay single.  The sheer temptations!!!  And most recently (about a year ago), I met the one.  The ONE.  He was the whole package.  And I had to run away…  If there is such a thing as “soulmate”, he was mine.  Meeting him and then getting to know him brought alive all the romantic tales you only hear of.  It was magical.  And I had to run away… run like I’d never run that way.  I was the Forrest Gump and I ran away… I ran away like the wind… I ran away to oblivion…  Technically, I may have been the one that ran away but HE will always be the ONE that got away.

Well, I had to stay true to at least one childhood ambition [I quit smoking about a year ago].  It was like choosing-the-lesser-evil sort of a moment, either keep smoking and get romantically involved with the ONE or quit smoking and run away from the ONE.

My commitment to staying single – a life of Banned “romantic relationship”.

via Daily Prompt: Banned

Transformation

25 Oct

I am a result of millions of Transformation, some known and more than some unknown, some deliberate, some forced, some impulsive, some just formative, some informative… I am indeed a result of millions of Transformation.

I regret some of me now.  The transformation from an assertive child to a young girl full of self doubt to a pushover.  The transformation back from pushover to my “ancient” assertive self is however not easy as the former one.  It’s always easy to mar the good then good the mar, or so I have come to believe.

via Daily Prompt: Transformation

p.s.  I intend to write something and what gets typed is something so transformed that I can hardly recognise or identify with the “end product”.

😐

Tiny is as Tiny does

24 Oct

Tiny is as Tiny does

I am a tiny person with a huge personality.  Honest to God.  When I am sitting down, no one dares mess with me.  However, my bubble bursts when I have to stand up and my otherwise “huge” personality has to get squished/squashed into one hundred fifty centimetres.  Let us just say it isn’t only my personality that’s huge but my shape as well.

So people can be tiny physically i.e. in length (or is it called height) but appropriately compensated in breadth (or is it called FAT).  That is who I am.

People can also be tiny in minds.  These tiny-minded people think tiny stuff and often get their EGOS bruised by teeny tiny stuff.  I am one of such tiny people as well.

Which makes me believe in “Tiny is as Tiny does”.

Which actually makes me tiny inside and tiny outside.

I epitomise TINY.  I am TINY.

via Daily Prompt: Tiny

p.s. I wanted to b.i.t.c.h about a “friend” who “failed to invite” me to her Hen’s Night and later to her wedding and even later to her wedding reception but then I thought it would have been very Tiny of me.

Friends worth Millions

21 Oct

I read this somewhere…

You only need two close friends in which you can trust and dedicate yourself to. Having too many friends can lead to depression and stress.

million

So here’s a picture of my two “close” friends with the moms.  I’m not friends with the moms because (and apparently) “Having too many friends can lead to depression and stress.”  However, these two friends are worth more than Millions so to speak or at least for the “time being”!

via Daily Prompt: Millions

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