Tag Archives: thoughts

Happy Anniversary

29 Jul

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com says wordpress.com.

Happy ANNIVERSARY

Happy ANNIVERSARY

Only happy is missing – at this at this particular moment. So I was out, to a place where unplugged isn’t a version of an artist’s performance – it just means unplugged in terms of internet. Maybe if I had tried a tad bit harder, I’d have got it but who wants to work hard let alone tad bit harder… hence the absence!!! I hope I’ve explained myself real well :couldn’t be prouder smirk:

BAH!!!

Now, to my most annoying home coming ever.

I came home [since home is where the heart is and my heart at present is on the money, literally… hence here home basically means my workplace] to my homies [since I’m a residential employee along with some more – read homies / colleagues]. At this point, I’d like to enlighten you a bit about where I work. I work at a “Nights in Rodanthe” kinda place only it’s not in Rodanthe and it’s not an inn and we don’t look forward to good-looking middle aged guy coming this way to fall head over hills for. If this doesn’t explain then well errrrr GO FIGURE!!! :fumes:

Now that that’s explained… well all was well, we were catching up until I got real caught up. My roomie has been taking full advantage of my being away :shocked: I do not want to go into the details but she’d been helping herself with my small nest egg :appalled: [FYI –> I may be being cheap but what the heckkk!??! My total nest egg kinda amounts to $70 to be precise :ahem:]

It may not be all about money – it’s about trust and all the big words involved. Should I be glad to announce that she’s being fired or should I keep that my  dirty little secret?? Well, let’s just say “time will tell” and get it over with, for now.

Besides, my bad home coming would only be waiting to get worse… Here’s why. The roaches have somehow planted themselves quite into a farm and are now cropping up from everywhere in my room… it’s  a roach farm… yelp for help!!!

Anyway, now that my worst home coming ever has been explained, AMEN to happy ANNIVERSARY.

Ergo, let me recount my one year of blogging…

Done recounting – it’s 197 posts in 365 days. Hmmmm not bad, well verrrrrrrrrry bad indeed.

Hang on! Are recounting and counting the same thing?!?O.o

Wha’ever!!!! Next year hopefully I’d be able to recount and not just count :sighs:

Weekly Writing challenge: A Few of My Favourite Things

5 Sep

– A Few of My almost-Favourite Things

Yesterday, when I first saw the topic for this week’s writing challenge, I smiled to myself because it made my heart go “Oh, it’s going to be easy…” Then I clicked -Add New Post- and have been staring at the computer ever since [besides it’s staring back at me].

I have so many favourites that I’m shocked at not finding anything that can be included in A Few of My Favourite Things. When did this transition from too-many-to-pick-from to nothing-at-all take place? How did I let this happen? Which/ What and Where are A Few of My Favourite Things???

The more I thought of this topic, the further down I went into my past.  And then I realised when it had all started –> the detachment.

One of My almost Favourite Things I remember as a child was postcards. By 11 I was a proud owner of a little more than a hundred of these sent by people from all over the world to any and all in my family. It didn’t matter to me, whether the messages at the back were meant for me…. they always ended up in my treasure box. One day when I returned home from school, a little bird told me that someone had hideously burned my collection up in flames. Oh, how I cried myself to sleep that night!! Ever since, I haven’t been able to pin *favourite* on things the way it was then, with my postcards.

Over the years, it’s indeed been a bit too difficult for me to point out my favourite things and mean it from the bottom of  my scarred heart. I had and still have many favourite things, in passing, which is why my friends and family can write out  this list at the drop of a hat. But for me, I’ve fought the hurt and tried to label *favourite* in a few things being mentioned here.

1. PERFUMES

one of my FAVOURITE things

Being a person who loves to drool in the past [and daydream into future], I have developed this obsession of associating my memories with fragrance. Every heartbreak, every new job, every new twist and turn in my life have been accompanied with a smell… All my almost-empty bottles from my teenage years till the day I left home were neatly put in a shelf back at my parents’ house. I don’t know if it’s still intact, though. After leaving my family home, I’ve been practically living my life out of a suitcase. These days, if I want to travel back in time I go to a perfume shop and sniff the memory I want to relive and that’s it.

2. DIARIES

a few of my FAVOURITE things

Knowing how much I love to write… diaries, notebooks, writing pads make ideal gifts for everyone to present me. As the scars of yester-years began to fill, these bundles of wonder have become one of my favourite things, too. It’s a must for a loner like me, a single by choice like m and simply-wonderful person LIKE ME.

EARRINGS

too lazy to assemble my pieces & take a pic… not mine

My recent favourite, this one began when I shaved my head in 2010, I began sporting earrings. Up until last year, earrings may rightly be called theee favourite thing. I don’t go out without one, even though the hair’s grown longer. I love the way these danglers dangle in my earlobe-less ears and make me feel like a woman.

4. MINESWEEPER

I had to mention *minesweeper* because it always gets left out. Saying I play this little meaningless computer game a lot is an understatement. I’m obsessed with *minesweeper*. The first application I ever downloaded on my i-touch was *minesweeper* and the same later with my iphone. Just had to get this out –> it’s one of the Few of My Favourite Things, anyway. [Having Gael watch me play minesweeper is an added advantage].

Image Source:

Diary Picture: http://linedjournals.com/lined-leather-journals.html

Earrings:  http://fashiontrendsandcolor.com/2012/06/fashion-jewelry-2012-pictures-and-trends/

saying YES to NO ~ a sequel

2 Sep

“I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.”
– Billy Joel

I am not a negative person but many a times saying NO can be theee most positive thing. I have learned it from past experiences ~ a lesson learned the hard way. If you have had difficulties saying NO, you’re not alone. BUT for people used to saying “NO” easily, this post may not “go down” that easily.

As far as I am concerned, I still have difficulties saying “NO” partly because I’m worried how the recipient may feel. Rejection is a scary thing, not only to receive but to give as well.

trying to…

Let us first understand WHEN to say NO:

Obviously when you don’t want to say YES [sick!! I know]

Sometimes we say “Yes” despite wanting to say “NO” because we think we can protect the one we love by saying “Yes” we are protecting our loved one from feeling hurt or offended. It’s a good thing to say “Yes” to Mom’s cookies when you’re full and it’s perfectly all right to nibble on them until you can thank her for the spare tire around your belly area, in the years to come. This is more like “Honesty is NOT ALWAYS the best policy”.

BUT when the person who’s going to get hurt is YOU, that’s when it’s time to say “NO”.

Now HOW to say NO:

Once you learn when it’s time to say NO, you must know how to say it. I’ve always known when to say NO, it’s easy to identify when to say NO but it’s difficult to pin down on HOW to say it. Because let’s face it, you may earn a “selfish” label or a “self-centred” label once you start using NO. The best way is to make excuse. Let’s try it.

http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully

Pretty good advice, I am working on Points 2, 4, 5 and 7.

If you aren’t strong enough [read: if you are as weak as the blogger here], you can practice putting up a blank expression or a frown to say NO. Also, you can pretend not to hear and walk away before the speaker repeats himself/ herself. Just get up and get away from the environment that’s forcing you to say NO, it obviously isn’t a good environment to linger around.

WHAT to do after saying NO:

If your heart thumps like mine after I say NO, well.. personally I think it’s pathetic. But heart’s a heart’s a heart ~ one’s gotta be nice to one’s heart. So let it thump and come back to its normal beat. Once you say NO, don’t regret it. Your NO may not always be right but we all learn through trials and errors. I’ve lost few so-called pals over the years because they couldn’t see me beyond my NO. I wonder if it’s a big loss, though.

Also note that when you say no, it might attract some “labels”. Don’t worry about them. As long as you’re comfortable with your NO, there’s no need to worry about whatever names it may bring you. If people give you names for your NO, ask yourself “Is it worth having them around?” As simple as that.

…errr well… I guess that’s how you can find the “balance”…

to P who Pays (a monthly visit)

27 Aug

…if you’re a woman and you know it… [errr well] clap your hands [I guess].

 

Well, this post is about Miss P who Pays me a monthly visit and to all the *ladies* out there and maybe JB above [exceptions: Little ladies, Elderly ladies and Expecting ladies].  Miss P is what sets us apart from our male counterparts and thus makes us oh-so-very special.

Before Miss P paid me her first visit, I was used to listening to painful and sometimes scary stories from friends who were well acquainted, already. And so, one sunny Saturday she paid me an unexpected visit ~ seconds later I became a woman (??). I didn’t like her at all. According to my adolescent self, she crippled me; crippled me from running free… [I have changed my mind and become more positive about her, over the years].

Miss P has been nice to me. Maybe, because I had this reservation about her and it’s like she’s trying to prove me wrong. She comes regularly and without any baggage. She warns me before her arrival ~ a gentle knock [i.e. a light tug in the inside of my naval area] and she always comes on weekends. The only time she doesn’t come on weekends is when I am absolutely busy. She is then very considerate about visiting me when I’m likely to have a lot of rest or when there’s a public holiday around. I don’t know how she’s managed to be this good to me, but I feel lucky about all this.

One day a friend remarked, “You always get your period when we’re traveling.”

My answer, “That’s because I always get my period during holidays.”

On the first day of her visit, she’s very easy around me (as if she doesn’t want to burden). The second day, she works efficiently and from the third evening she starts making her absence felt. On the fourth she simply leaves traces as a reminder that she had been there. She leaves quietly on the 5th day until she knocks on the door with a gentle tug again –> next month.

Only recently, when a colleague began complaining about insufferable Miss P who, according to her, comes with cramps, backaches, irregularity and so on did I realise how lucky I’ve always been :knocks on wood: Once in the bluest moon, she does come my way with a little bit of bloating, lethargy and slight exhaustion – but nothing that can’t be cured with a little rest. And like I said earlier, she visits me when I have ample time to rest, I have no excuse [whatsoever] to complain.

It really does take others’ misfortune to count on one’s blessing! I love my Miss P because I know how troublesome she could have been… Period.

on be1ng s1ngle

25 Aug

Being Single

Before I forget the fact that this blog is about me being single, here’s a post on being single. I’ve been carried away as I have been writing for other categories [easier in comparison to this one]. The other categories may not always be about my single life.  If anyone stumbles into my blog, and going by the blog’s name, assumes this blog is about some wild rantings by and on a single-by-choice life, then I want them to find something meaty here. So this is one of many peeks into being single.

There was a time when I wanted to be single and here I am still wanting to be single.

Some things don’t change and am I happy about it.

Why am I happy?

–> Because being single lets me decide who I’d give up my single-hood for. You need not feel guilty even if you are eying someone who’s beyond you – as long as you’re single, you DO have a chance. I have my prospective eights [https://s1ngal.wordpress.com/2012/07/], to whom I’ve dedicated a post and struck a deal with [the deal’s been sealed, signed and approved from my end].

even with all the nudity… I DO guilt-less fancy you…

–> Because being single lets me lose weight easily. How? Well, I’m single and a bad cook, besides. But that’s not it. I’ve noticed one BIG difference between a single’s fridge and others’.  When you’re not single, there’s always food, always : I DARE YOU TO CORRECT ME, anyone??? So now imagine what happens to a pound-wise yet penniless s1ngal who comes back home to an empty fridge. She goes to sleep, empty stomach. Result – weight loss.

 

my mood or MY MOOD

–> Because my life depends on my MOOD. Anything can happen any-when. I make things happen. I want to blog, I blog – whether it’s dinner time, breakfast time,  3.11 am in the morning. Ican wake up in the middle of the night because I realise I’d forgotten to *like* the post that I’d actually liked.

 

 

 

–> Because the TV belongs to me. I can watch whatever I like and not just the recorded versions. I can turn it off at the 89th minute during a football match between Italy and Spain and go to sleep peacefully because I can always google the result, later.

the REMOTE’s mine, I WIN I WIN

–> Because I can talk to a life-sized Teddy who listens and agrees with me in respectful silence… and there isn’t anyone judging me for this. I carry it with me wherever I go, trust me Teddy doesn’t complain. It’s always there for a bear-hug and  turns into a pillow when mine falls off the bed.

more later… i.e. when i can think of some more “because…”

Trust me there are plenty more… because I’m single, I have decided to end

this post here, to be continued later (when I feel like it).

There – one more reason I’m happy being single.

9 Drafts and counting…

21 Aug

I can spell dry –

DEE

ARE

WHY.

No, I’m not going through a dry spell – I have 9 droughts drafts to prove that.

 

Alright, alright –> it does look like a dry spell. But I’m not going through a writer’s block, I still have the 9 drafts.

 

 

Dry spell image source

blocks image source

RigHt HeRe

20 Aug

Right Here

Like in this picture i hold-
(evokes, evades and eludes)

Will you still be there,
when I have rounded the earth
when I have worn out
when I have exhausted?

When I return.
Will you dance with me
to the tunes we have danced before?
Will there be lights?

When the sun sets;
of the stars and the moon
or the green and the red
glittering and swaying,
will I find you here?

Even if you may have changed –
you may have a different name
a different face,
you may be just a new you,
the same you
or a different you.

I know you will be there
holding my hands
dancing to the tunes I’d danced before,
under the starlit sky
beneath the bright neons.
Whether I know you now
or if i’ll know you later,
I know you will be there.
I know you will be here.

Image Resource: Slow Dance

to U who Understood

20 Aug

My biggest complain as a teenager was –> Nobody understands me. And so I used to be by myself, sulking and contemplating self-destructive techniques. Then I met my first BFF a little before the final laps of my teenage years. She understood me – more than I understood myself and I still call her my BFF even though we haven’t spoken for years [unless you call a comment here and there on facebook status ~ speaking].

She accepted me for who I was ~ a cranky self-pitying teenager. She never tried to change me, nor did she once ask me why I was the way I was. However, she was vocal about her problems, her self-pitying thoughts, low self-esteem, eating disorder and all other diseases that comes along with the teens-pack. Together, while fighting against her vices, I fought mine, too. While fortifying against her insecurities, I was building my own bulwark. I was always amazed at her strength to cry and scream at me for leaving her alone or hurting her. [Until then, I thought if you confided in anyone how you’d felt hurt, the others would use it against you to hurt you again]. Through this strength of hers, I tore down the walls that held the “strong” facade and dared to leave myself vulnerable.

Then the inevitable happened – we grew up and apart.

Luckily, by the time we parted ways, I was fully armoured. I was left alone – but no longer sulking. I found a different me in solitude. I spilled my own beans with myself, I opened my closets and dared to look the skeletons in their eyes, I hung them out to dry and packed them back neatly.I have come to realise, over the years, that at times showing weakness needs more strength than showing strength itself. By laying herself bare, my BFF made me stronger because let’s face it we were on the same boat [aka ship].

The best thing that happened thereafter is –> I accepted me for who I was.

Image source:

http://www.mycafelove.com/2012/02/heart-touching-line-dedicated-to-all.html

cURIOSITY cHILLED the cAT

19 Aug

Well, while you all were blogging [these last few days, and I *grudgingly* wasn’t], I was having fun [wishful thinking]. Nahh… Not exactly. I missed my blog-world a lot as it’s MORE real here than the real pathetic can’t-live-like-this-any-longer-but-hafta life that I’m living but I swear I’m not complaining. So I was thinking – wishfully and otherwise – and wondering a lot, kind of making hay while the internet’s down.

“chilled” not KILLED aaaargh

…and VOILA, here are 5 questions [wonderings???] which will fit into my “MY 5”.

The first Question: If you see a dead spider in a web —> Would you call it a suicide or a heinous murder?

The second Question: While going through a writer’s block, if you write about it [you know kind of explanatory notes and turn it into a post in your blog] —-> Would you still have had a writer’s block?

The third Question:  When I confess being a hypocrite —> Would I be “An Honest Person”or “A Hypocrite”? The same goes with confession of being a Liar I guess… What am I to believe if someone comes to me and says—> “I lie”. Hmmm… [Emmm maybe show him or her a bed to lie on? /\_0/]

The fourth Question: I put heaps of make-up [layer on layer] so that I can walk out with a “natural” look… I really DO practise this and I’d like to know why…

The final Question: Why are my friends and family always right when I am wrong? Maybe my “wrong” is actually right and their “right” is in fact wrong. But, it never happens that way… WHY?

Image source:

http://cartondock.deviantart.com/art/Curiosity-Killed-The-Cat-274866003.S.

P.S. ~still very very much wondering~

 

5 deeds I did… today

14 Aug

I always DO deeds. Unfortunately and because I’m going through a very creative phase alongside this incorrigible writer’s block, I’ve decided not to get carried away into not posting anything. Hence, presenting a journal-look-alike and a journal-feel-alike post with 5 deeds of no particular importance and in no particular order.

If you like it without reading it then *Like* it. If you like it after reading it, *Like* it for sure. If you don’t like it without reading it, *Like* it anyway. If you don’t like it after reading it then just leave a comment for motivation’s sake.

First Deed: Repent

I opened my fridge and found out that the yogurt had gone bad. I really wish yogurt were honey, instead [honey never goes bad, just like me]. To make up for my loss, I bing’d the usage of yogurt gone bad. Sadly, there is none. Then I bing’d some more “What happens if I eat yogurt gone bad?” The 144,000,000 results were all highly discouraging.

No, that’s not the picture of my yogurt-gone-bad. I haven’t mentioned clicking its picture now, have I? Duh!!

That’s not my yogurt

Second Deed: Appreciate

I clicked *Freshly Pressed* almost 300 times but didn’t go through any of the blogs featured there. Exception –> The Screenplay: Preparaion, *Like*d the post once into the blog “Paper, Paint and Pixie Dust”  I decided to *Follow* her.  Then I went on to some blogs I had bookmarked a week back and *Follow*ed almost all of them. I couldn’t remember why or how I’d happened to bookmark their blogs but it was totally worth it.

Third Deed: Endeavor

Wrote a lot for the blog. Like a 3-line haiku about the first deed [sounded ridiculous and looked ridiculous too with Gael Garcia Bernal’s face in the backdrop]. Like a post on how difficult it is to live a single life when you are single, blonde and HOT like hell [I couldn’t relate to the post because I maybe single but I’m neither blonde nor HOT like hell]. Like an inspired post from the previous post that never saw the light at the end of the publishing-tunnel – it was about an ugly duckling [bing’d lots of facts about duckling that I lost the very purpose as to why I started to write that post, in the first place].

Fourth Deed: Acknowledge

I received yet another *award* from Innamazing. She has ONE LOVELY BLOG and it takes you OR rather transfers you to another world. I’ll try to do her justice, in every way I can, by being deserving of the award.Today being the *single-writer’s-block* day, I am forced to use the “Future Tense” i.e. I WILL try to do justice…..

Fifth Deed: Multiply

JOY to multiply

While growing up and going through slambooks, I used to find this line almost on every alternate page  –> Life’s like mathematics: Friends to add, enemies to subtract, sorrow to divide and joys to multiply. And that multiplication brings me to the 5th and final deed I did today.

I offered a present [right off the shelf] to a total stranger for his 44th birthday. I found it out obviously because a little bird told one other person and I happened to overhear. He was shocked. This is exactly what I did. I grabbed a bottle, took it to him and said “Happy Birthday, the drink’s on the house” and I walked away [trembling like hell].

Image source:

http://www.helladelicious.com/diy/2010/08/examples-of-bad-food/attachment/badyogurt2-2/

http://www.amazon.com/Subtract-Multiply-Italian-Pendant-Necklace/dp/B004A7E5EG

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