I’m a bad person and it’s not a very good thing. It’s something I’m terribly ashamed of.
Last year, broke as I was, I bought the least expensive (second-hand) “bestseller” – The Fault in our Stars. I was going through a void and I was desperate for anything to fill it. Thus the book. I’m not saying the book is “bad” or did I just do that…?? Errrr… Anyway I was reading this book because I wanted to fill that void in me… Well, I’ve said that already. Anyway, I don’t remember much of the book and if I am to name the author I might just have to Google. Anyway, my point is reading that particular book, I came across a line and as I said before, I don’t remember much of it. Anyway, that particular line may read something in this line…. “…she’s funny without being rude…”
A lightbulb moment… That’s exactly what/ who I’ve never been. I didn’t know why people thought me rude/ bad/ mean/ nasty…while all the time I was just being funny. It was that line or some line in that line that just hit home, big time. As of now, therefore, I’ve become wary of myself and my “sense of” humour now. I’m scared to snap or join in a conversation and when I do, I just haven’t been able to be funny without being rude.
Ergo, this post. I have always had the habit of making everyone around me laugh at someone else’s expense… Ever learning that I am, I’ve been trying to hold my tongue these days, I’m trying to refrain myself from saying the funniest thing (funny for me) and I’ve become a “bore”. My only redemption..