Tag Archives: strength through weakness

to U who Understood

20 Aug

My biggest complain as a teenager was –> Nobody understands me. And so I used to be by myself, sulking and contemplating self-destructive techniques. Then I met my first BFF a little before the final laps of my teenage years. She understood me – more than I understood myself and I still call her my BFF even though we haven’t spoken for years [unless you call a comment here and there on facebook status ~ speaking].

She accepted me for who I was ~ a cranky self-pitying teenager. She never tried to change me, nor did she once ask me why I was the way I was. However, she was vocal about her problems, her self-pitying thoughts, low self-esteem, eating disorder and all other diseases that comes along with the teens-pack. Together, while fighting against her vices, I fought mine, too. While fortifying against her insecurities, I was building my own bulwark. I was always amazed at her strength to cry and scream at me for leaving her alone or hurting her. [Until then, I thought if you confided in anyone how you’d felt hurt, the others would use it against you to hurt you again]. Through this strength of hers, I tore down the walls that held the “strong” facade and dared to leave myself vulnerable.

Then the inevitable happened – we grew up and apart.

Luckily, by the time we parted ways, I was fully armoured. I was left alone – but no longer sulking. I found a different me in solitude. I spilled my own beans with myself, I opened my closets and dared to look the skeletons in their eyes, I hung them out to dry and packed them back neatly.I have come to realise, over the years, that at times showing weakness needs more strength than showing strength itself. By laying herself bare, my BFF made me stronger because let’s face it we were on the same boat [aka ship].

The best thing that happened thereafter is –> I accepted me for who I was.

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