Tag Archives: single’s blog

Blogging about Blogging

21 Sep

Thinking OUT LOUD

This is the most unthought-of POST that will ever be posted IN THIS *oh-so-fantastic* BLOG [ If you MUST go through it, then be warned and be considerate to CONSIDER IT A typed *throwing-up*!!!].

Why do I blog?

I thought I had a clue but actually I don’t.

Why did I start blogging?

I started blogging so that I would get into the habit of writing. Because I’ve always wanted to write. I tried writing, never worked so I started blogging.

Why THIS blog?

Because I am living a single life and I thought there are could be many singles out there tossing and turning about their single-hood. I wanted the single bloggers to know that one can be perfectly all right living a single life and be HAPPY.

No, I’m not a motivational speaker – ALTHOUGH – although I thought I could be one [when I was 11]. So this blog… this blog is a blog about a single girl trying to find a niche…. a single human being trying to find a niche…

Then I realised, it’s not just JUST because I’m single that I’m trying to find a niche [I love this word -niche- so please forgive me for using it 4 times already]. Life, as it happens, is uncertain for singles or anyone in the world. Ironically, life’s almost the same – YOU carry your individuality. You are always YOU [single or in a relationship]. The pursuit of *happyness* thus doesn’t come from living a single life or not. I am a proof. THIS BLOG is a proof.

Every other day I complain about life – it’s never got anything to do with me living a single life. I know in the hearts of my heart [how many hearts do I have, again? ;)], however much it had to do with me being single – the same would have happened if I were not single. I choose what makes me happy, I choose what makes me sad. This blog is about choosing what makes me sad and avoiding it completely.

To live a life, we need ~ friends/ a little money [to go buy]/ a book/ a blog/ an inspiration/ an aspiration/ a roof to live under/ a destination to reach/ a horizon to click/ a flower to smell/ the sky to look up to/ the sun to follow. I’ve found everything in this BLOG… and if I haven’t you definitely will.

What happened then?

Then I fell in love with so many bloggers and their blogs. These days I read more than I write. I read so much that I get inspired and then I keep reading until my eyes hurt. Some days I am unable to write [partly because of the writer’s block, maybe] but then I’m reading a lot, a lot lot. I look forward to poems, anecdotal stories, thoughts of a lunatic, the logic of pretzels and still there are so many of them. So what happened is, I realised blogging isn’t always about writing, it could very well be about READING.

These days I am worried about the next photo challenge ~ Weekly photo challenge, Sunday post, Travel theme ~ only because I AM ALLOWED to participate. There’s no one to tell me “I’m not good enough” even if I am not good enough. I’m just enjoying, let me enjoy and that’s what I do. I enjoy. I am never going to be a PROfessional photographer, I don’t want to be. As you can see, what happened is I started to enjoy posting the photos I have clicked.

I may write less but I’m definitely learning MORE. And there’ve been a lot of times when the post that I’m thinking about writing has just been posted. Think about intelligent minds thinking alike. So what do I do? I *like* the post and sometimes even *comment*. Needless to say, appreciation happened. Instead of sitting there with a frown, I’ve started liking the idea of like-mindedness. It just goes to show that I am NEVER alone and NEVER will be. Being single, however, is a totally different ballgame although with the ball always in my court.

What next, then?

Well, I’ll enjoy blogging… duh!!!

saying YES to NO ~ a sequel

2 Sep

“I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection.”
– Billy Joel

I am not a negative person but many a times saying NO can be theee most positive thing. I have learned it from past experiences ~ a lesson learned the hard way. If you have had difficulties saying NO, you’re not alone. BUT for people used to saying “NO” easily, this post may not “go down” that easily.

As far as I am concerned, I still have difficulties saying “NO” partly because I’m worried how the recipient may feel. Rejection is a scary thing, not only to receive but to give as well.

trying to…

Let us first understand WHEN to say NO:

Obviously when you don’t want to say YES [sick!! I know]

Sometimes we say “Yes” despite wanting to say “NO” because we think we can protect the one we love by saying “Yes” we are protecting our loved one from feeling hurt or offended. It’s a good thing to say “Yes” to Mom’s cookies when you’re full and it’s perfectly all right to nibble on them until you can thank her for the spare tire around your belly area, in the years to come. This is more like “Honesty is NOT ALWAYS the best policy”.

BUT when the person who’s going to get hurt is YOU, that’s when it’s time to say “NO”.

Now HOW to say NO:

Once you learn when it’s time to say NO, you must know how to say it. I’ve always known when to say NO, it’s easy to identify when to say NO but it’s difficult to pin down on HOW to say it. Because let’s face it, you may earn a “selfish” label or a “self-centred” label once you start using NO. The best way is to make excuse. Let’s try it.

http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-Respectfully

Pretty good advice, I am working on Points 2, 4, 5 and 7.

If you aren’t strong enough [read: if you are as weak as the blogger here], you can practice putting up a blank expression or a frown to say NO. Also, you can pretend not to hear and walk away before the speaker repeats himself/ herself. Just get up and get away from the environment that’s forcing you to say NO, it obviously isn’t a good environment to linger around.

WHAT to do after saying NO:

If your heart thumps like mine after I say NO, well.. personally I think it’s pathetic. But heart’s a heart’s a heart ~ one’s gotta be nice to one’s heart. So let it thump and come back to its normal beat. Once you say NO, don’t regret it. Your NO may not always be right but we all learn through trials and errors. I’ve lost few so-called pals over the years because they couldn’t see me beyond my NO. I wonder if it’s a big loss, though.

Also note that when you say no, it might attract some “labels”. Don’t worry about them. As long as you’re comfortable with your NO, there’s no need to worry about whatever names it may bring you. If people give you names for your NO, ask yourself “Is it worth having them around?” As simple as that.

…errr well… I guess that’s how you can find the “balance”…

on be1ng s1ngle

25 Aug

Being Single

Before I forget the fact that this blog is about me being single, here’s a post on being single. I’ve been carried away as I have been writing for other categories [easier in comparison to this one]. The other categories may not always be about my single life.  If anyone stumbles into my blog, and going by the blog’s name, assumes this blog is about some wild rantings by and on a single-by-choice life, then I want them to find something meaty here. So this is one of many peeks into being single.

There was a time when I wanted to be single and here I am still wanting to be single.

Some things don’t change and am I happy about it.

Why am I happy?

–> Because being single lets me decide who I’d give up my single-hood for. You need not feel guilty even if you are eying someone who’s beyond you – as long as you’re single, you DO have a chance. I have my prospective eights [https://s1ngal.wordpress.com/2012/07/], to whom I’ve dedicated a post and struck a deal with [the deal’s been sealed, signed and approved from my end].

even with all the nudity… I DO guilt-less fancy you…

–> Because being single lets me lose weight easily. How? Well, I’m single and a bad cook, besides. But that’s not it. I’ve noticed one BIG difference between a single’s fridge and others’.  When you’re not single, there’s always food, always : I DARE YOU TO CORRECT ME, anyone??? So now imagine what happens to a pound-wise yet penniless s1ngal who comes back home to an empty fridge. She goes to sleep, empty stomach. Result – weight loss.

 

my mood or MY MOOD

–> Because my life depends on my MOOD. Anything can happen any-when. I make things happen. I want to blog, I blog – whether it’s dinner time, breakfast time,  3.11 am in the morning. Ican wake up in the middle of the night because I realise I’d forgotten to *like* the post that I’d actually liked.

 

 

 

–> Because the TV belongs to me. I can watch whatever I like and not just the recorded versions. I can turn it off at the 89th minute during a football match between Italy and Spain and go to sleep peacefully because I can always google the result, later.

the REMOTE’s mine, I WIN I WIN

–> Because I can talk to a life-sized Teddy who listens and agrees with me in respectful silence… and there isn’t anyone judging me for this. I carry it with me wherever I go, trust me Teddy doesn’t complain. It’s always there for a bear-hug and  turns into a pillow when mine falls off the bed.

more later… i.e. when i can think of some more “because…”

Trust me there are plenty more… because I’m single, I have decided to end

this post here, to be continued later (when I feel like it).

There – one more reason I’m happy being single.

oN a dAY liKE tHIS

12 Aug

on a [SAD] day like this

On a day like this, when I wake up I want to go right back to sleep. There was a time when I looked forward to Sundays so much that I couldn’t even sleep the previous night. Sleeplessness is still there but the reason has changed from anticipation to anxiety.

On a day like this, I look out for a greener pasture. Maybe, if I weren’t *single*…..

 

On a day like this, I remember one of my buddies who got married at 17. We all, i.e. her friends, knew it was a disaster. We were wrong. She was married to a gem of a person. 5 years later, she thought we were actually right. It came as a BIG shock for us, the friends. At 23 she filed for a divorce. As soon as the divorce got through – practically on the same day – she got married again. She didn’t live a single life even for a day. Apparently she could no longer be happy with a Gem of a person, she moved to metal – a platinum of a person. We all, i.e. her friends, didn’t know what it was. We were in a shock and aftershock simultaneously.

 
She confessed to us, the friends, how much she loved Platinum and how real it was. We, the friends, agreed later when we realised how happy she was with Platinum. My friend in context is more like “Mary” from “There’s Something About Mary” [She attracts men like flies]. She confessed [more discreetly this time] to me, the friend, about getting into the second marriage way too quick. I resisted the urge to say “I told you so.”

 

 

On a day like this, I remember her second confession. Her second confession had a hint of  “If only I were single….” but obviously nowhere did it mean “I’m sad I’m married”.

On a day like this, I know no matter what we are, where we are, who we are, we do linger on the “What ifs….”. Not only because we are sad but also because the grass may always look greener on the other side.

 

Image Source:

http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h127/kmlander247/?action=view¤t=sad-sad-kitty.jpg&newest=1

 http://www.kinoshot.ru/film/melodrama/page/5/

http://www.demotivation.us/the-grass-is-always-greener-1258824.html

Good at being BAD

7 Aug

Once I read somewhere –>

In a country of blinds, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.

….And here come the stones…

Ouch! I’m bleeding, nearing the end with each hit.

All I wish for now is a quicker death.

When you are [a one eyed man] pointing a gun, remember that some MILLION stones are showering your way.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK

SOURCE:http://missperple.deviantart.com/art/Don-t-Speak-145618257?q=sort%3Atime+favby%3ACrispyGurl420&qo=0

Continue reading

Tough times

27 Jul

I’m going through a rough period in my life. The last 2 days have been awful with my finance depleting at a supersonic speed. My nerves too are on the verge of becoming extinct because a co-worker’s been getting on them :@ a little TOO MUCH. Image

Luckily, being s1ngle does give me the pleasure of blaming “this period” to being s1ngle. These are times when I wish the wishful thinking, sighing “If I had a boyfriend/ a fiance/ a husband/ an ex……” Whoa!!! I DO HAVE AN EX 😀 As soon as it dawned on me that I DO HAVE AN EX, I picked up the phone and almost called him to discuss things (the things happening to me are actually beyond me/ my understanding).

What made me stop –

  1. I’ve always solved my problem by myself (regardless of any regards) and if I do/ did call him, I’ll be listening to his problems more than talking about mine. I’m pretty sure he has problems (he used to have them all the time so all the time includes NOW, if I’m not wrong).
  2. If I did call him and luckily if he were without problems, would things happening to me not be beyond him/ his understanding?
  3. If I did call him and luckily if he were to be without problems and perhaps he would understand things happening to me…. but how in the hell was I expecting to explain the things happening to me when in fact it’s actually beyond me/ my understanding?
  4. Do I even have a problem?? What was the problem again??? If the problems are beyond me, could I be actually having problems????
  5. Last but not the least, I don’t have my ex’s number because I had deleted it when I decided to enjoy my single-hood. I must thank my good fortune here because… imagine calling one’s ex and having to explain problems beyond one’s understanding and so forth just to realise the fourth point above.

Image

Well, I’m lucky to be single. When things go wrong, I can always pin it on being single. And the luckiest part is finding out it isn’t.

Don’t worry about ME

26 Jul

What is the most funny thing about being single is – it’s not me who’s worried, it’s the others. For me their worries spell “envy”. Oh well, yes I know I’m flattering myself a little too much than I deserve.

I was in the 11th grade when a friend (a very very good friend) tried enlightening me. She was a lovely girl (I regret not keeping in touch with her) and an intelligent one too. Now that’s a rare combo, I’m sure. So yeah, she was worried about me and the decision I had taken. I have been very vocal about my decision to stay single so everyone who knows me knows that I aspire to stay single (even my ex-boyfriends).

Back to my lovely friend – she usually tried changing my mind. It was one of many such conversations (the excerpt of which I’m going to narrate) after which it was she who almost got enlightened and after which we stopped having conversation regarding – NOT staying single.

Image   MY FRIEND: Life gets tough as we grow older. Life alone gets tough, big time.

ME: Nod, Nod, Nod (After all, my mom had told me about this and listening to something true and real and important and amazing can be wearying nonetheless, the second time around).

MY FRIEND: Who will you share your troubles with? It’s not possible to solve all your problems by yourself.

ME: Nodding, nodding, nodding still.

….. and then….

(enlightened) ME: Hey, ever wondered??? If I’m alone, my problems will be lesser than if I marry or get into a relationship. Cos then I’ll have a spouse who’ll have troubles too and before we know it, we have double-troubles. Being single – I’ll only have MY problems to solve. Being with someone, WE will have OUR problems to solve. What do you say??

MY FRIEND: (Pondering! Pondering!!) I’ve never given that a thought but you do have a point.

MY FRIEND: Quiet.

Well, some people are meant to be with someone, meant to be in a relationship, meant to get married, meant to have a “happily ever after” endings. They are perfect the way they are. So at the end of the day, what we should not forget is that there are people who are meant to be S1NGLE, who are happy being S1NGLE. They, too, are perfect the way they are.

Being in a relationship or being S1NGLE is like the yin and the yang and so is everything in life.

A.M.Bradley

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