Tag Archives: ramblings

Yours Artificially

24 Oct

Yours sincerely, OR

Yours truly, OR

Yours artificially. OR

With all things artificial, yet it is wiser to choose the top 2.  How strange the “Artificial” is actually the real deal.

via Daily Prompt: Artificial

Crushing on ‘Promise’

12 Oct

I remember a time when I was obsessed with the word “Promise”.  I woke up one day and just plain out of nowhere felt how beautiful a sound the word “Promise” actually made.  I kept repeating the word over and over again and every time I repeated it, it felt even more beautiful, serene and just out of the world.  The obsession lasted a few days and although I do not feel the same way [at all] now, I still remember the feeling I felt.  I even thought of naming my child [who I’d adopt] Promise.  I used to worry if any other child would be named ‘Promise’ and I couldn’t wait to grow up to adopt a child and name this person ‘Promise’. It was [then] such a beautiful word to just let it be limited to a word, there had to be a person named ‘Promise’.

stork-carrying-baby-29185010

And thou shalt be named “Promise”                   PC

I used to daydream a lot about how Promise was going to be.  Some daydreams had Promise as a little girl with chubby cheeks and uncontrollably unmanageable leaving me in a dilemma whether or not to reveal that she was actually adopted.  Other daydreams had Promise as a serious looking boy but very quiet and suspicious and getting mixed in “bad company”.  I couldn’t decide which Promise would be a lesser evil.  I couldn’t decide the right time to tell Promise about being an adopted child.  Oh the pain!

Looking back, I can see how silly I was.  The worst bit of the silliness is that I don’t even know why I liked the word so much.  I can’t relive how I felt then.  ‘Promise’ now is just a word.  It’s kinda like your high school crushes and the what-was-I-thinking feeling you get when/if you see them now [apologies if you’re married to one, I’m sure they’re still the sweethearts]…

Strange how prompts like today’s Promises can bring back memories of a phase [almost] forgotten!

via Daily Prompt: Promises

Phoneless Fun

11 Oct

I just realised “original” sounds (almost like) OR – IS – IN – ALL!  Now if that’s not original, well what is?

Anyway…

My Original take on the Prompt Original

If you haven’t watched Black Mirror, I reckon you watch it!  It’s a “..television anthology series that shows the dark side of life and technology.”  I particularly liked one episode “The entire history of you” as it made me reflect on my dependence on technology.  Hence, one fine day in September 2016, I decided to forego all aspects of technology from my life.

It’s October and I’ve started blogging, which shows how effective my decision was.

For a week or so (post the resolution), I felt sort of numbed.  I felt some sort of anxiety.  Hence, to numb the numbing and the anxiety, I sort of cut me out a deal.  I decided to use my notebook with certain T&C’s (strictly for the purpose of – checking emails, blogging, writing, and anything but signing in on any SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES).

Even with the notebook, my otherwise whatever-coloured-world has turned bland and grey without a smartphone.  How?  Well…

  • My backpack is pink [the opposite of grey] but heavy with all sorts of just-in-case items.

    161011-191706

  • I carry a camera (just in case)

cam

  •  A book (just in case again)

book

  • A small mirror (another just in case again)

mirror

  • And I have even dug out my [ancient] wrist-watch!!wrist-watch

 

 

 

 

And if the pics are fuzzy, well I used what-we-used-to-call the webcam to click them.  I do not know how long I can do with all the lugging and without a phone but as long as it lasts I will try to enjoy the moment.  How??

  • Thanks to the no-phone, I have started blogging 🙂 again
  • Thanks to the no-phone, I have started reading books (made out of paper)
  • Thanks to the no-phone, I have been sleeping peacefully every night
  • Thanks to the no-phone, I have been able to “sort out my priorities”
  • Thanks to the no-phone, I don’t get called out when I do not want to be out

via Daily Prompt: Original

5 deeds I did… today

14 Aug

I always DO deeds. Unfortunately and because I’m going through a very creative phase alongside this incorrigible writer’s block, I’ve decided not to get carried away into not posting anything. Hence, presenting a journal-look-alike and a journal-feel-alike post with 5 deeds of no particular importance and in no particular order.

If you like it without reading it then *Like* it. If you like it after reading it, *Like* it for sure. If you don’t like it without reading it, *Like* it anyway. If you don’t like it after reading it then just leave a comment for motivation’s sake.

First Deed: Repent

I opened my fridge and found out that the yogurt had gone bad. I really wish yogurt were honey, instead [honey never goes bad, just like me]. To make up for my loss, I bing’d the usage of yogurt gone bad. Sadly, there is none. Then I bing’d some more “What happens if I eat yogurt gone bad?” The 144,000,000 results were all highly discouraging.

No, that’s not the picture of my yogurt-gone-bad. I haven’t mentioned clicking its picture now, have I? Duh!!

That’s not my yogurt

Second Deed: Appreciate

I clicked *Freshly Pressed* almost 300 times but didn’t go through any of the blogs featured there. Exception –> The Screenplay: Preparaion, *Like*d the post once into the blog “Paper, Paint and Pixie Dust”  I decided to *Follow* her.  Then I went on to some blogs I had bookmarked a week back and *Follow*ed almost all of them. I couldn’t remember why or how I’d happened to bookmark their blogs but it was totally worth it.

Third Deed: Endeavor

Wrote a lot for the blog. Like a 3-line haiku about the first deed [sounded ridiculous and looked ridiculous too with Gael Garcia Bernal’s face in the backdrop]. Like a post on how difficult it is to live a single life when you are single, blonde and HOT like hell [I couldn’t relate to the post because I maybe single but I’m neither blonde nor HOT like hell]. Like an inspired post from the previous post that never saw the light at the end of the publishing-tunnel – it was about an ugly duckling [bing’d lots of facts about duckling that I lost the very purpose as to why I started to write that post, in the first place].

Fourth Deed: Acknowledge

I received yet another *award* from Innamazing. She has ONE LOVELY BLOG and it takes you OR rather transfers you to another world. I’ll try to do her justice, in every way I can, by being deserving of the award.Today being the *single-writer’s-block* day, I am forced to use the “Future Tense” i.e. I WILL try to do justice…..

Fifth Deed: Multiply

JOY to multiply

While growing up and going through slambooks, I used to find this line almost on every alternate page  –> Life’s like mathematics: Friends to add, enemies to subtract, sorrow to divide and joys to multiply. And that multiplication brings me to the 5th and final deed I did today.

I offered a present [right off the shelf] to a total stranger for his 44th birthday. I found it out obviously because a little bird told one other person and I happened to overhear. He was shocked. This is exactly what I did. I grabbed a bottle, took it to him and said “Happy Birthday, the drink’s on the house” and I walked away [trembling like hell].

Image source:

http://www.helladelicious.com/diy/2010/08/examples-of-bad-food/attachment/badyogurt2-2/

http://www.amazon.com/Subtract-Multiply-Italian-Pendant-Necklace/dp/B004A7E5EG

On a Day Like This [an unanticipated sequel]

13 Aug

I mean who’d have thought I’d be waking up to an award after a day like /on-a-day-like-this/ By the way before my morning green-tea coffee [coffee sounds better], I wordpress – I know I’m a loser but what the heck.

Anywhoa, I did get the Reader Appreciation award courtesy *the best blogger in town* Ms. The Lunatic …and I woke up *wide awake* happier… [I’ve never NEVER ever won anything my entire life, not even a flipping *scrabble* match and it almost became a little difficult to accept it at first]

…and it was then that I realised I wasn’t ready with my acceptance speech.

Well so I began working on the rules [there are some rules]: for details please visit my previous post —> /the-reader-appreciation-award/ Working on the rules gave birth to my 41st post which got a *Like* even before I had time to get a look at my own post – post publishing. Sky was beginning to be the limit for my sky-rocketing happiness.

However, the most important part of it all is how unprepared I was. I mean I grew up with Award-fantasies be it the Oscars or the Golden Globe or the BAFTA or the Grammy… Mind you, it wasn’t necessarily because I was working towards any of those awards but because I loved the “acceptance speeches”. So my award-fantasies were actually about the speeches and not merely the awards. And when the part came where I had to “show appreciation to the blogger who awarded you”… my ultimate-fantasy come true… to speak out the words like “I’d like to thank my mom and dad…..”  The words didn’t come out… I was completely floored with overwhelm-ation… If you think I’m making a fuss about nothing, well you didn’t see me sweat on my keyboard and stare at the screen for H.O.U.R.S.

At the end of the day, it was nice to wake up to a day like this immediately after a day not-quite like this. That makes me live the single LIFE. The unpredictability of unbalanced depression, delusion and delight.

Image Source: http://robertadeiana.ifunnyblog.com/awardacceptancespeeches/

P.S. A speech in time saves nine (hours of staring at your laptop’s screen) 😀 😉 😉

Dry My Tears

10 Aug

Last evening, I was sitting in a small cafe fighting valiantly against ‘writer’s block’ – fruitlessly. A little later, a mom and a son came and sat in a table nearby. The child was chatty (which one isn’t) and I loved the meaningless questions coming out from his innocent lips (too poetic?? O well). After about 10 minutes or so, a car parked in front and out rushed 3 slightly on the heavier side and  don’t-mess-with-us looking ladies. Obviously, I looked away.

To my horror, they joined the mom and the son. It was amazing to realise how sweet the ladies turned out to be. The heftiest took the child away and was busy playing with him. It was unbelievable for me who’d done the mistake of judging a book by its cover. A closer look and I saw that the mom was in tears. The two ladies flanked the mom and didn’t leave her side.

The scene  was so touching. Neither the ladies nor the mom exchanged many words but there were nods in between. It looked as if the sobs were being approved.  It was as if they were having a telepathic conversation – obscure, maybe, to a cynic single girl like me. The only time I heard the “ladies” was when the child would join them and ask something.

It struck me then, I am living a single life by choice. And by single, I mean I’ve burnt all bridges when it comes to family and relatives. I have a handful of friends and that too only because they don’t know how to take “NO”  for an answer. I don’t know what had befallen the “mom” but I wonder if anything were to happen to me, will I have 3 heftier-than-thou friends flanking me, supporting me more with gestures than words? OR will I be crying alone flanked by the four ever-understanding ever-quiet walls? [Questions]

[Answers—> time will tell]

Image source:

http://www.visualphotos.com/image/2×3667792/a_crying_baby

http://favim.com/image/404314/

L1fe of Str1fe

4 Aug

1. The Peanut-Circle:

Beginning/ end: I used to work for peanuts a long time back while babysitting my cousin. After school, I worked in a preschool for little more than peanuts.  You should have seen me then, swelling with pride. Then came the full-time corporate job after uni —> Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 high-paying, boring, monotonous desk-top white-collar job. I realised too soon I wasn’t enjoying the job apart from the salary. I quit. Went back to college to study. Dropped out of college after a year, traveled a bit and NOW back to working for peanuts. Beginning??? End???

2. My way or Highway

So I think sometimes it’s important to just sit back and stop whatever it is that you’re doing ~ take time off for no reason and travel all alone.  Go out there “On the Road” and “Into the Wild”. See different things or see things differently. Don’t get back until you’re ready. Don’t get back until you’ve figured out what is it that you’re “ready” for. This may be a time to collect your thoughts or the time to clear your head of all the “junk” thoughts.

http://www.dafyd.me.uk/

Being single = the privilege to start what I can/may never finish OR call it quits before I even start.

Being single = the downside of having no one to pin it on when things go wrong (as they always will)

3. The Peanut-butter Theory

 

And at the end of the day if everything else fails and all life has to offer is peanut, churn it into peanut butter [yummmm] and enjoy your peanut-butter sandwich. Lame as it may sound, I speak from experience and I love peanut butter. I can have them straight from the bottle.

Maybe some day it’ll all make sense [to me, at least]

rain OR shine

1 Aug

… a slow start… a slower day… I’m looking outside and it’s all white… it’s not winter but it’s slightly chilly, maybe because it’s drizzling… the world around me is engulfed in white and the white is slowly rising, like the curtain raising for a much-awaited show, in clusters of cottony mist… listening to Adele’s “daydreamer” and trying to write something…

I am a water-person (not only because I drink a lot of water). I love the oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, lagoons, waterfalls, streams, brooks and all forms of water-bodies except the puddles. However, I love the rain – be it drizzling or pouring cats and dogs – the only forms of water that I may not be interested in are puddles and Tsunami and its likes.

My dream-house has always had to be either by a lake/river/waterfall…. but then again I don’t mind trading it for a mansion with ocean-view or like the house-in-stilts from the movie “the Lake house”. I have never imagined a dream-house without water around it in any way. I’d love to go to Maldives, some day.

Some of my unforgettable waterfront memories:

  • Once a friend asked me to pick a place for her civil wedding and when the limited number of intimate friends gathered, they all gave me knowing looks – it was by a beautiful creek.
  • On one chilly new year’s morning, I called my friends to accompany me (if not meet me there) by this lagoon. It was almost freezing and we were thoughtfully covered in our down-jackets. Two of my friends started fishing and to my pleasant-surprise, the fishing activity invited a lot of ripples (and luckily NO fish). I was grinning ear to ear until I saw a grumpy (not-a-morning-person-at-all) friend sitting next to me, pulling up his jacket every passing second, giving me what’s-there-to-smile-about-in-this-freezing-morning look.
  • A friend had bought an SUV and who happened to know how much I love them. He called me and surprised me with the news. It was way past midnight (he used to work late shifts) and he was on his way home. I told him we could go for a ride. Knowing my undying love for SUV’s he came to pick me up. We went to…. a beach. I think it was past 2 am and I’ll never forget how our shadows reflected on the waves. It was beautiful.
  • I fell in love with my ex after I saw his apartment. Well not quite like that, it was actually after I saw the view of a beautiful lagoon from his apartment. I may forget my ex, but I won’t forget the view. I myself am not a morning person but I used to get up early (like before 6) to enjoy the sunrise by the lake. We broke up after he shifted to a new place. No, no, no… the break-up had nothing to do with him moving. It’s just that I don’t believe in a long-distance relationship and on top of that I need to be single forever.

my collage – can’t stop clicking when i see the water (any forms)

I am fortunate to live by a lake, at present. The house isn’t on stilts 😦 and I don’t have a mail-box but the sad part about living here is – it looks like I’ve started taking my fortune for granted because I have missed the sunrise for a long long time now. [Note to MEself: wake up early tomorrow, take a pic and maybe blog about it]. But that’s another perk of being single and working for “peanuts” – I am at my OWN disposal. So if I do get up early tomorrow, it’s because I WANT TO not because i have to….

M loving it ———–> http://macdonaldsbestellen.webklik.nl/page/

the GIRL with the BING

30 Jul

I just bing’d “the girl with” and I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it’s because I’m slightly obsessed with “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”.

ImageI like Lisbeth Salander, the actual girl with the dragon tattoo, wayyyyy more than the book. (I’m sorry if I find/ found this book slightly heavier on the “boring” side). I’d love to be the girl with “some-kind-of tattoo”. Errr I’d like to have my ex’s name around my heart-area :$ and regret the decision about a decade later.

http://thegirlwiththeblog.comI’m sure I’m following the blog of “the girl with the blog”. If not I’ll follow and even “like” it, :pinky promise:

www.thegirlwiththepinkpumps.com/ Loved the pink pumps. It’s a blog of a girl with “the girl with the pink pumps” as the title of the blog. I do have a slightly nude pink pumps meself 😉 (which I hardly wear)

http://portablepancreasgirl.com/ This one’s a blog from a girl with portable pancreas. Notes to myselffollow asap as possible”

http://www.thegirlwithacurl.com/I think it’s a discontinued blog, haven’t got the time to go through it. I’m after all bing’ing only “the girl with….”

http://girlwiththeredhair.com/A blog of a girl with the red hair who’s recently got married. Like I said earlier I haven’t got the time to “peruse”. I’m just scanning the bing-result.

http://www.thegirlwiththeredumbrella.comsame as above :$

ImageA book I wouldn’t have heard of if I hadn’t bing-searched “the girl with…”. [Note to meself: find this book, READ it].

http://star-spangledheart.blogspot.com/ Another blog and another “haven’t got the time to peruse”.

ImageA painting/ a book/ a movie – Loved the book, loved the movie and I’m sure I’ll love the painting if I ever get an opportunity to stand next to it, someday.

And now the (s1ngle) girl with the bing-search is tired and wants to get away from the ntoebook. (Taht’s not a typo, it jsut means seh’s exhasuestd)

When in misery… NAG

30 Jul

One of my biggest fears when it comes to living the life I’ve decided to live is – What happens….. later?

As of now, I’m carefree (sort of). Even with my supersonic-ally depleting finance, I’m still managing to stay afloat, still trying to write or rather type, sometimes even post a blog here. I have no one but myself to blame for my meagre income and errr I’m not complaining. How I wish my fear were limited to finance! It’s not. Because I’m hoping that before I retire, I’ll find something to retire on, I mean money-wise. If not there’s always a chance I’ll get involved in big bank heists.

The BIG Fear

What bothers me more than my finance is – Once upon a time an obnoxious colleague from my ex-workplace had predicted that I’ll turn into a never-married-nagging old hag. His words have been nagging me ever since.

Imagemy uncluttered desk :O

The story of my DESK:

  • A neat desk was next to impossible when I was in my teens. I never had a desk earlier (I mean it was there somewhere obscured by the books, papers, clothes and what not). I know my mom’s going to flip if she ever finds/ sees my desk this way. Have I grown up?? If that’s the case, I don’t mind.
  • Now, if my desk isn’t that way, I freak out, I yell, I scream (in my heart and mind) at the one who’s tried to disturb the sanctum of my uncluttered desk. As soon as the culprit is out of sight, I quickly bring back the sanctity. There was a time my desk was so cluttered, it was invisible. Now I have a desk which, when I look back, comes as a BIG surprise to my older-self. I must have grown up, I still don’t mind.
  • What I’ll soon really/ actually mind is – as of now I’m screaming/ yelling in silence. However, somewhere in the future is a possibility that the yelling/ screaming, like my desk, may surface to audibility and thus visibility. Those screamings and yellings will obviously spell “naggings”.

I seriously do not want to give my colleague the pleasure of being correct. We are no longer in touch but that’s not the point. If I turn into a nagger, I’ll definitely be proving him right. Every passing day when I complain about little things which aren’t done the way I want them to be done, I ask myself – Am I “really” turning into a nagger?

But what’s it got to do with me being single? At the end of the day, we all become naggers when we grow old, don’t we? It’s actually not nagging but it’s the knowing. “Ignorance is bliss” and so there’s no need to nag; obviously now, is there? One doesn’t need to be a rocket-scientist to understand that if “ignorance” is equal to “bliss” than “knowledge” the opposite of “ignorance” is equal to “misery” the opposite of “bliss”. When in misery, everything’s miserable and thus the “nagging” comes about.

Hence, I’d like to stress on the fact that “nagging” has more to do with knowledge than growing old s1ngle. Tidying my desk isn’t the only thing that’s changed in me with time.

  • I used to be the shortest-tempered person ever known (to people who knew me) and these days people (the others who’ve come to know me of late) ask me if I ever get angry.
  • I no longer argue and I don’t get infuriated when someone doesn’t listen to my side of the story. I’ve learned they have their own version and instead I listen to them to learn about the other side of the coin (whether I like it or not stays with me).
  • Look at me, I’ve started blogging (opening myself up to the whole world out there). There was a time I used to keep my journals and poems locked up, scared what “they” might think of it.
  • Beauty was vanity before but now I’ve learned it’s more of a therapy and that anyone can look beautiful. Also I’ve become fully aware of the explosive combination of beauty and brain which in turn becomes a HUGE confidence booster (especially as the proud bearer of such combination). I’m absolutely self-confident.
  • I had some kind of self-destructive tendencies but now I’ve learned to love myself. I’ve learned to accept compliments that come my way, without being too cynical about it. “Why is he/she giving me compliments? What does he/she want?
  • Grudges are a thing of past. I forgive others and when it comes to forgiving myself, it’s even faster.
  • I have a crush on Prince Harry and no longer do I imagine another damsel in distress waiting to be swept off her feet. I AM the one WAITING. Unlike the times I was growing up, now my stories about the good looking boys I meet have me starring opposite them 😉

ImagePrince “Charming” Harry

  • Further to my change above, I no longer think that I have to be holed up in a corner just because I’ve chosen to be single. In contrast, I go out and have fun and I definitely enjoy every bit.
  • I’m pretty sure I’ve become someone I’d have loved to hang around with as a kid.
  • I have quit smoking.

Of course there are more changes but at the moment those are inappropriate in terms of relevance. Hence nagging has nothing to do with me being s1ngle and everything to do with me becoming more knowledgeable. The fearful question, however, still remains – to nag or not to nag. Well, if nagging comes along with a price tag of all the lovely virtues above, then to hell with my ex-colleague’s accuracy of prophecy. Let him be the prophet while I’ll be a proud old-nagging hag.

For now, I’m confident especially from my rambling above that I’ll justify all or any vices as and when they emerge. If nagging is the result of gaining knowledge, what are the chances of me being caught with my guards down? Zilch, I suppose.

Sine qua non – As far as “later” is concerned, I’d rather hum to Doris Day’s number “…whatever will be, will be… the future’s not ours to see… que sera sera”

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