Yours sincerely, OR
Yours truly, OR
Yours artificially. OR
With all things artificial, yet it is wiser to choose the top 2. How strange the “Artificial” is actually the real deal.
I remember a time when I was obsessed with the word “Promise”. I woke up one day and just plain out of nowhere felt how beautiful a sound the word “Promise” actually made. I kept repeating the word over and over again and every time I repeated it, it felt even more beautiful, serene and just out of the world. The obsession lasted a few days and although I do not feel the same way [at all] now, I still remember the feeling I felt. I even thought of naming my child [who I’d adopt] Promise. I used to worry if any other child would be named ‘Promise’ and I couldn’t wait to grow up to adopt a child and name this person ‘Promise’. It was [then] such a beautiful word to just let it be limited to a word, there had to be a person named ‘Promise’.
I used to daydream a lot about how Promise was going to be. Some daydreams had Promise as a little girl with chubby cheeks and uncontrollably unmanageable leaving me in a dilemma whether or not to reveal that she was actually adopted. Other daydreams had Promise as a serious looking boy but very quiet and suspicious and getting mixed in “bad company”. I couldn’t decide which Promise would be a lesser evil. I couldn’t decide the right time to tell Promise about being an adopted child. Oh the pain!
Looking back, I can see how silly I was. The worst bit of the silliness is that I don’t even know why I liked the word so much. I can’t relive how I felt then. ‘Promise’ now is just a word. It’s kinda like your high school crushes and the what-was-I-thinking feeling you get when/if you see them now [apologies if you’re married to one, I’m sure they’re still the sweethearts]…
Strange how prompts like today’s Promises can bring back memories of a phase [almost] forgotten!
I just realised “original” sounds (almost like) OR – IS – IN – ALL! Now if that’s not original, well what is?
If you haven’t watched Black Mirror, I reckon you watch it! It’s a “..television anthology series that shows the dark side of life and technology.” I particularly liked one episode “The entire history of you” as it made me reflect on my dependence on technology. Hence, one fine day in September 2016, I decided to forego all aspects of technology from my life.
It’s October and I’ve started blogging, which shows how effective my decision was.
For a week or so (post the resolution), I felt sort of numbed. I felt some sort of anxiety. Hence, to numb the numbing and the anxiety, I sort of cut me out a deal. I decided to use my notebook with certain T&C’s (strictly for the purpose of – checking emails, blogging, writing, and anything but signing in on any SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES).
Even with the notebook, my otherwise whatever-coloured-world has turned bland and grey without a smartphone. How? Well…
And if the pics are fuzzy, well I used what-we-used-to-call the webcam to click them. I do not know how long I can do with all the lugging and without a phone but as long as it lasts I will try to enjoy the moment. How??
I always DO deeds. Unfortunately and because I’m going through a very creative phase alongside this incorrigible writer’s block, I’ve decided not to get carried away into not posting anything. Hence, presenting a journal-look-alike and a journal-feel-alike post with 5 deeds of no particular importance and in no particular order.
If you like it without reading it then *Like* it. If you like it after reading it, *Like* it for sure. If you don’t like it without reading it, *Like* it anyway. If you don’t like it after reading it then just leave a comment for motivation’s sake.
First Deed: Repent
I opened my fridge and found out that the yogurt had gone bad. I really wish yogurt were honey, instead [honey never goes bad, just like me]. To make up for my loss, I bing’d the usage of yogurt gone bad. Sadly, there is none. Then I bing’d some more “What happens if I eat yogurt gone bad?” The 144,000,000 results were all highly discouraging.
No, that’s not the picture of my yogurt-gone-bad. I haven’t mentioned clicking its picture now, have I? Duh!!
Second Deed: Appreciate
I clicked *Freshly Pressed* almost 300 times but didn’t go through any of the blogs featured there. Exception –> The Screenplay: Preparaion, *Like*d the post once into the blog “Paper, Paint and Pixie Dust” I decided to *Follow* her. Then I went on to some blogs I had bookmarked a week back and *Follow*ed almost all of them. I couldn’t remember why or how I’d happened to bookmark their blogs but it was totally worth it.
Third Deed: Endeavor
Wrote a lot for the blog. Like a 3-line haiku about the first deed [sounded ridiculous and looked ridiculous too with Gael Garcia Bernal’s face in the backdrop]. Like a post on how difficult it is to live a single life when you are single, blonde and HOT like hell [I couldn’t relate to the post because I maybe single but I’m neither blonde nor HOT like hell]. Like an inspired post from the previous post that never saw the light at the end of the publishing-tunnel – it was about an ugly duckling [bing’d lots of facts about duckling that I lost the very purpose as to why I started to write that post, in the first place].
Fourth Deed: Acknowledge
I received yet another *award* from Innamazing. She has ONE LOVELY BLOG and it takes you OR rather transfers you to another world. I’ll try to do her justice, in every way I can, by being deserving of the award.Today being the *single-writer’s-block* day, I am forced to use the “Future Tense” i.e. I WILL try to do justice…..
Fifth Deed: Multiply
While growing up and going through slambooks, I used to find this line almost on every alternate page –> Life’s like mathematics: Friends to add, enemies to subtract, sorrow to divide and joys to multiply. And that multiplication brings me to the 5th and final deed I did today.
I offered a present [right off the shelf] to a total stranger for his 44th birthday. I found it out obviously because a little bird told one other person and I happened to overhear. He was shocked. This is exactly what I did. I grabbed a bottle, took it to him and said “Happy Birthday, the drink’s on the house” and I walked away [trembling like hell].
I mean who’d have thought I’d be waking up to an award after a day like /on-a-day-like-this/ By the way before my morning
green-tea coffee [coffee sounds better], I wordpress – I know I’m a loser but what the heck.
Anywhoa, I did get the Reader Appreciation award courtesy *the best blogger in town* Ms. The Lunatic …and I woke up *wide awake* happier… [I’ve never NEVER ever won anything my entire life, not even a flipping *scrabble* match and it almost became a little difficult to accept it at first]
…and it was then that I realised I wasn’t ready with my acceptance speech.
Well so I began working on the rules [there are some rules]: for details please visit my previous post —> /the-reader-appreciation-award/ Working on the rules gave birth to my 41st post which got a *Like* even before I had time to get a look at my own post – post publishing. Sky was beginning to be the limit for my sky-rocketing happiness.
However, the most important part of it all is how unprepared I was. I mean I grew up with Award-fantasies be it the Oscars or the Golden Globe or the BAFTA or the Grammy… Mind you, it wasn’t necessarily because I was working towards any of those awards but because I loved the “acceptance speeches”. So my award-fantasies were actually about the speeches and not merely the awards. And when the part came where I had to “show appreciation to the blogger who awarded you”… my ultimate-fantasy come true… to speak out the words like “I’d like to thank my mom and dad…..” The words didn’t come out… I was completely floored with overwhelm-ation… If you think I’m making a fuss about nothing, well you didn’t see me sweat on my keyboard and stare at the screen for H.O.U.R.S.
At the end of the day, it was nice to wake up to a day like this immediately after a day not-quite like this. That makes me live the single LIFE. The unpredictability of unbalanced depression, delusion and delight.
P.S. A speech in time saves nine (hours of staring at your laptop’s screen) 😀 😉 😉
1. The Peanut-Circle:
Beginning/ end: I used to work for peanuts a long time back while babysitting my cousin. After school, I worked in a preschool for little more than peanuts. You should have seen me then, swelling with pride. Then came the full-time corporate job after uni —> Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 high-paying, boring, monotonous desk-top white-collar job. I realised too soon I wasn’t enjoying the job apart from the salary. I quit. Went back to college to study. Dropped out of college after a year, traveled a bit and NOW back to working for peanuts. Beginning??? End???
2. My way or Highway
So I think sometimes it’s important to just sit back and stop whatever it is that you’re doing ~ take time off for no reason and travel all alone. Go out there “On the Road” and “Into the Wild”. See different things or see things differently. Don’t get back until you’re ready. Don’t get back until you’ve figured out what is it that you’re “ready” for. This may be a time to collect your thoughts or the time to clear your head of all the “junk” thoughts.
Being single = the privilege to start what I can/may never finish OR call it quits before I even start.
Being single = the downside of having no one to pin it on when things go wrong (as they always will)
3. The Peanut-butter Theory
And at the end of the day if everything else fails and all life has to offer is peanut, churn it into peanut butter [yummmm] and enjoy your peanut-butter sandwich. Lame as it may sound, I speak from experience and I love peanut butter. I can have them straight from the bottle.
Maybe some day it’ll all make sense [to me, at least]
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