Tag Archives: personal

Standing Out

15 Aug

Daily Prompt: Standout

by michelle w. on August 15, 2013

When was the last time you really stood out in a crowd? Are you comfortable in that position, or do you wish you could fade into the woodwork?

                                  _/ \_

Standing out has always been a cakewalk for me, somehow. Maybe it’s my voice or it’s the way I am, I mean my personality. I do things I like to do regardless of how I may be regarded and that’s why or how I may have been an easy spot in the crowd.

In school and college, I was scared of any kind of limelight and I sailed through those days without being noticed to find out later I hadn’t quite succeeded. SO MANY PEOPLE REMEMBER ME as the one who stood out in the crowd. People remember things I don’t remember doing or saying and I retreat [in my mind] trying to recall if they’re telling the truth or if they’re actually making it up. How could they even remember me? The jitters it gives me bumping into anyone from that ERA :sigh:

In my family, too, I am considered as the go-to-cousin in terms of picking out the right career path and crazy things like that.  How’d I know? If I knew, wouldn’t I be doing the right thing?!? But no, if I don’t “counsel” I am the cousin who’s got an air about me. Seriously!?! I really want to know when or how did this whole go-to-cousin thing came about, I seriously do need to know because only then I’d be able to CTRL+Z then.

Laugh as you may but I am the most sought-after friend for relationship advice. My friends know about my eternally single status and yet. Honestly, most of the time I only listen to them. They spill out their pros and cons and then they think it’d be ideal to stick to point 1, 2 and 3. I nod my head. Next thing I know they’ve decided to go with point 11 and I have my nod ready steady style. They go back hugging me for all the worldly advice I’ve just given them especially for that point numero 76. Only at the end of the day, I am the one standing wondering “what just happened?”.

Last but not the least, I know how big a failure I am but people think I’m a story of success in the making [never written]. At times, I can’t resist myself asking them why why why…. why do they think so!!?  Well, they tell me I am a success in terms of being content. Well, what’s content? Isn’t that the thing that comes in the first page of a book about items or topics or chapters within!?!?!?

However, all this unintentional standing out  does come with a price. Some of my friends have accused me of trying to be the centre of attention and many have told me to tone down. Indeed, I have always stood out in a crowd but only from the crowd’s point of view…. never mine.

Anyway if at 42, I am delivering a speech like the one below…. then I’d have stood out from the crowd from my own point of view —>

Relationship Advice

27 Oct

It may sound absolutely odd – ME – the single *s1ngal* by choice – giving relationship advice ?!? whatever’s this world coming to….!?! I know, right?!? However, I haven’t always been single – I have been in almost a dozen relationships till date and have enjoyed every one of it. I am not a bitter single, I am a hetter single. Hence, there can be no better person who can actually give you a sound relationship advice than MOI.

Now, without further ado, let me start with the most important thing you need to understand to enjoy your relationship. It’s not gonna last forever. Trust me on this. The reason why I’ve enjoyed all my relationships is because I knew the relationship would “be here today, gone tomorrow”. Some of my much-loved and much-revered ex men called my enlightenment  A commitment-phobia.

don’t mind the photo… it’s jus a Fo’o [‘as noffin to do with the post]

In any case, once you know this truth, the tendency to cling to your partner goes out the window. What follows next is the insecurity. Both out – it leaves you plenty of room for fun and more FUN. Then knowing it’s fleeting, you’ll begin treasuring every moment of this ephemeral phase. The best thing is, when it DOES end [:(], you’d have already known and had made FULL use of it. On the other hand, if it goes on forever, you’d enjoy it forever.

More coming soon… errr More *may* come soon…

Weekly Photo Challenge: Happy

6 Oct

Certain somethings make me HAPPY… and a little more!!!

Thanks to this week’s amazing “Weekly Photo Challenge: Happy”, I’m getting to share few things that make me happy. There are a lot more things that make me happy than the ones mentioned. For instance, being single makes me happy, too [no photo though :thinks it’s a clever remark:]

  • apple pies always make me happy ~ an apple a day keeps a doctor away. An apple pie a day, keeps unHappiness away 😀
  • every cloud has a silver lining ~ that makes me happy
  • All star – all time favourite – makes the $uper$tar [moi] happy
  • lip gloss ~ for that smile to look glossy when happy
  • opening a present always makes me happy [even if what’s inside sometimes doesn’t :winks:]
  • journals ~ to record all things that make me happy ~ makes me happy

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a Century Later

27 Sep

100 *published* posts later, I can say it wasn’t easy getting here. Few times I re-blogged just to keep the *posts* count going on some posts wishing I was the one who’d written them. Many, way too many times I have posted pictures ~ in the name of some challenge or the other [not to mention how thoroughly I’ve enjoyed doing this :)].

To get the post out everyday was a challenge and some days I just had to let go the *post a day* pressure. Those were the days when I wrote, wrote stuff that got saved in the *Drafts* but never got to see the light of the blogging day.

As I was going through what-do-I-write-about-today phase, I just happened to check my *Drafts* page and found something amusing. A little later I was asking myself… What was I thinking here? What was I trying to write then? Why did I stop *there*? Where was this headed?

With each draft, I’ll leave a comment just to let you [myself included] know what exactly I AM THINKING NOW.

Draft 1 [September 13, 2012]

Yes, I smoked yesterday and despite trying not to light the next cigarette, I’ve smoked around 7 cigarettes in 24 hours. Yesterday, I had all the excuses to smoke. I mean I was stressed/ frustrated/ exasperated/ lost/ confused/ cornered…. and so on and so forth.

  • Comment: I’m pretty sure there’s a post related to this OR Maybe this post actually saw the light of the *blogging* day.

Draft 2 [September 4, 2012]

TITLE: if you have a writer’s block

  • Comment: This post was blank beyond the title, no wonder 😉

Draft 3 [August 29, 2012]

Banging my head on the wall

Wishing and hoping for the bricks to fall

I am hurt as blood gushes out

I hold it back and cry out loud.

A knock on my bedroom door

Pandemonium on the second floor

I keep mum, hold my breath

  • Comment: I love this and I wish I could go back in time to finish/ publish this. I love the sound of this poem, it’s even rhyming. However, if this has been copied from somewhere else, apologies for I must’ve been totally stoned then :$

Draft 4 [August 27, 2012]

TITLE:to The Missus

I tell tales of anecdotes,

of the doting cats, lores of the yore.

They got me, too, but you got me first.

You had my back when I keeled,

just for you and head over heels.

And I had yours

Just as I swept you off your feet.

We’ve got the history then.

And now, you’re too big of a reason

for how I turned out the way I did

to ever stop loving you.

  • Comment: I remember this one VERY clearly. Anecdotal Tales at anecdotaltales.wordpress.com had commented on my post and I was so touched, I wanted to pen a poem dedicating it to them ~ it was a disaster. Anecdotal Tales, if you are reading this, please remember it’s the thought that counts :prays for a forgiveness miracle:

Draft 5 [August 25, 2012]

TITLE: Single at Heart, Double Elsewhere

Misfortune never comes alone, it comes in doubles I guess. Except for my single-hood, there’s nothing “single” [to be read as one] about me. I have two parents to begin with, I mean my mom and dad. My parents have two children, my brother and I.

Today, while I was listening to a romantic song, I realised how “single-at-heart” I am.

  • Comment: One day, I’ll finish this one. I can still feel this. I remember exactly how I had felt then, so this post WILL be published ~ sooner or later.

Draft 6 [August 24, 2012]

TITLE: a technically-challenged SPEAKS

  • Comment: Blank! Maybe I might have started “speaking” just then and so it never got written. Can’t remember the genesis, nemesis or the finishes.

Draft 7 [August 21, 2012]

TITLE: Single’s Guide to Staying Single

  • If you want to stay single by choice, you must be absolutely as insane as me.
  • If you want to stay single because someone’s ditched/ dumped/ cheated on/ betrayed you, then I’m sorry for you but being single may not suit you.
  • If you want to stay single thinking it’s cool, then hell you’re right… and I’ll show you how.

First and foremost, you must think it’s cool to stay single. It is cool and cold. You become the “cold one”, not as cold as the Cullen Family I guess. I mean people will consider you cold and you must convince yourself that cold means cool. By now if you’re not convinced about the cool, skip it all

  • Comment: Will finish this someday [at least for the sake of all the wannabe singles out there :D]

And many more. Just got tired of *copy* and *paste* routine. Oh, if you didn’t know already I am sooooooooooooo darn good until I switch to lazy mode.

  • Do you have drafts saved?
  • OR Could I be the only one?
  • In which case, have I suddenly alienated myself by bringing out my skeletons?

NB. Do not judge me because errr well in another case, I may be saving *drafts* for a rainy day.

an Idle Mind

25 Sep

This is coming from someone who is in complete denial of a relapse she is going through. For 24 hours, she did not smoke [clean sheet] and then the sheet got dirtier.

Now, why did this happen? She wonders! She was talking :gibberish: with her colleagues and before she knew it she reached out for a cigarette and walked out to the smoking corner. She toyed with that stick for a wee while – it was as if she was having second thoughts and a momentary “to smoke or not to smoke” pause. There was no one, just the cigarette and her.

She reminded herself that she had quit smoking to become healthier. She then asked herself the “need” to smoke right there and then. There was no “need” – she wasn’t stressed nor was she angry. ‘There wasn’t having-a-bad-day syndrome. A flash and there the cigarette was lit and she was inhaling the burned nicotine infested tobacco holding white cylindrical thing with a spongy yellowish butt.

The only NEW excuse she came down to [after she lit that first cigarette] – än ídlé mínd ís the SMÖKËR’s wórkshóp… and thus begins a new era of experiment. She has promised not to keep herself idle. Hence she might blog more if not watch movies. She’s since [since the first cigarette, today] watched – Game Change, A Mighty Heart and is now enjoying The Hunger Games while working, mind you.

NB. This post is being written in the Third Person because s1ngal is ashamed of the relapse. She will continue to write this way until the smoking and the relapse are a thing of the past. She wants you all to kindly bear with her and she wants you all to trust her when she says “She’s trying.” Like the_Lunatic commented, “It’s easy until it’s not”, s1ngal is finding it not EASY at this moment.

un-Relapsing

24 Sep

Someone mailed it in a few days back to s1ngal about the smoking relapse episode. That someone was SO wrong. Well, it wasn’t a relapse. s1ngal was only trying to smoke a little without turning that episode into a saga of relapse. Does that make any sense? Maybe, not.

So here’s me writing about my life ~ yeah yeah a single life. I got into smoking a little bit since I first lit “that” first cigarette when I got stressed. In fact, it wasn’t stress that brought me down to light “that” first cigarette – it was *rage*, a boiling RAGE.

There’s this colleague – I don’t want to name names or anything like that – who loves [I believe] to get on my nerves. She does it routinely on Wednesdays and it was one of these Wednesdays when *fury* of the worst order took me over and I was blinded by it. Seriously, I couldn’t calm myself down – it was a murderous rage – R.A.G.E. Yes, that’s why I smoked on that Wednesday because I got into that anger-loop.

IMAGE SOURCE: s1ngal

Anger-loop defined: It’s like something makes you angry and then you turn away from it. Then you sit and think about it, which apparently makes you angrier. Then you stand and try to talk yourself out [of this anger situation] and you get the angriest. This is when you need to get out and chop some wood or mope. But because I was at work, I couldn’t chop wood [would’t have done this even if I was home] or mope. Yes, moping is my greatest stress-reliever.

Today, I am on Monday and haven’t smoked YET. Come Wednesday, if I’m saying the same thing i.e. in the line of “haven’t smoked”, I’d feel quite accomplished [after which I’m going to work on getting “Freshly Pressed”].

Weekly Writing Challenge: Mailing it in [a little late]

22 Sep

Dear s1ngal,

I know how you are so I’ll drop the pleasantries and get straight to the point.

*read* the sign!!!

Why have you taken up smoking… again? You said it was only for 24 hours almost 240 hours earlier. When I reminded you [to this day] that you’re still smoking, you smile and wave me off. NO. Enough’s enough.

Is this some kind of a relapse? Two years back, you went cold turkey after 9 – N.I.N.E. – years with that thing. Those two of your most-difficult years you were clean. And this is what I get… a relapse??? NOW???

You’re old [read: matured – no need to frown] enough to know what it can do to your health. Look at your skin, it’s beginning to show liver spots. Stressed? Puh-leez, who’re you kidding? If you’re stressed, go chop some wood or mope the house the way you used to when you were stressed.

Also, don’t give me *quitting is easy* BS.  Anyway, enough of but-I’m-so-stressed-I-need-to-smoke excuses. Get over it. I know you can quit this thing because guess what, YOU HAVE ALREADY done it before, especially when no one thought you could, not even me.

Okay, gotta run now. But next time I catch you off guard, I want to catch you off guard without that little cigarette in your hand.

Take care, lotsa love xoxoxo

A.M.Bradley

The Forgotten Writer

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