Tag Archives: humour

Filthy Confession

16 Nov

There are some things I do of which I can never actually be proud of.  Like some fetish,  I do  have some filthy confessions to make (in utmost honesty).

PROCEED WITH CAUTION… Filth ahead!!!

  • Growing up with a big brother, I grew up wanting to be a “boy“.  No, it wasn’t about being able to pee standing… it was just about being a boy…  I played out this childhood fantasy by sneaking into my brother’s room and sneaking out with his OVERSIZE sneakers on – a truly “in his shoes” kinda phase.  What happened next very easily and quickly put an end to this fantasising.  My feet began to smell, to filthy stink, and it wasn’t until a year or so when it finally stopped.  Lesson learned the filthy way.

  • Long before I began sneaking into my brother’s room for his shoes, I used to sneak in to steal from his piggy bank.  Although stealing his shoes had a great lesson to learn from, nothing fearful came out of stealing from his piggy bank except the guilt.

  • When I used to smoke, one of the most filthy things I ever did was to pick up stubs from the street for a few drags.  In my defence, I did those only when I was too broke to buy a cigarette.  Looking back, I cannot believe I actually had done such a filthy thing.
  • I am lazy but that’s no confession.  I hate doing the cleaning and the laundry.  I have a laundry basket – a HUGE one.  The clothes piled in this basket get used and reused a long time before they actually hit the machine.  Well, let me elaborate.  The first pile in this basket is a normal – “to wash” pile.  Once all my clothes (wearable) pile up in this pile, I sort out the not-very-dirty ones and wear them a few times.  The second pile is the – “can’t wear them without a wash” pile.  Very soon, I run out of clothes to wear again and the pile doesn’t get washed itself.  From the second pile, I choose the “can manage one last time without a wash” clothes and wear them.  The third pile is the “even the most expensive perfumes won’t help” pile.  And yes, reluctantly then I do wash these! 

  • Once upon a time, I used to bite my nails but that’s not the confession.  My filthy confession is that I used to salivate at the sight of other people’s tempting nails – oh, the sheer temptation that I had to fight!    

Gross, I know!  Filthy enough!!

via Daily Prompt: Filthy

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Those Darn Tarts

15 Nov

them tart… How do YOU like?

Them apple tarts… I dig them apple tarts.  But I’ve given up on THEM desserts :sniffles:

No no…. the other one.  them Tart… How do you like?

Image result for men stripper
Image Source

Oh… T . A . R . T . … Errrr  I prefer AHEM men, thank you.

 

Aaaargh….  How do you like them??  TART???  Or dya want some icing sugar with them apples??

You’ve lost me!

 

Moral:  ask Questions like Yoda… Please don’t.

via Daily Prompt: Tart

Daily Prompt: hi-PER-buh-lee

5 Nov

What I get when I google Hyperbole

hyperbole
hʌɪˈpəːbəli/
noun
noun: hyperbole; plural noun: hyperboles
  1. exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.
    “he vowed revenge with oaths and hyperboles”
    synonyms: exaggeration, overstatement, magnification, amplification, embroidery, embellishment, overplaying, excess, overkill; More

This is not my post on Hyperbole.  I swear to beejeejus I don’t know what happened, and if I knew what had happened let the lightning strike twice on me and kill me instantly the second time [an example of a hyperbole].

You’ll find my actual post on Hyperbole   HERE   and while you’re at it *Like* it if you must!

via Daily Prompt: Hyperbole

Never a Copycat

1 Nov

I have always prided myself in being original. I have always wanted to do things differently and often I was therefore the alien among my peers, but that didn’t faze me a bit.

Some evidences:

  • My Fashion Sense.  I am not a fashionista and I don’t spend thousands on clothes and accessories or all that ra-ra-ras.  But I love FLASHY shoes, sparkly, glittery, sequined – well the more the better for me.  Judging by how I look and what I wear this usually gives people the shock of their lives but what can I do, that’s just Meh!
  • My Crazy.  Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to watch any live sports match on TV or anywhere else.  I go craaaaaazy, either happy-crazy or silly-crazy or just raging-mad-crazy.  On the other hand, my parents and my brother are such calm audience, they can just sit calmly and watch the entire match even if their side is losing.  How is that even possible?  Maybe they aren’t into it as much as I am.  Well, who am I kidding!  I’m just crazy original or original crazy.
  • My Choice of Music.  The only musician who’s got me completely is Tracy Chapman [Wanna know more about her?  Click OneClick Two].  I have never been much of a “music person” but her music was something, is something.  I have all her albums – some gifted by my amazed friends.  Also, I do listen to other musicians but you know what I mean.
  • My Singlehood.  This was an original idea, hatched out of my LOVE for independence.  Actually, I might as well be the Copycat here, because the idea had struck after seeing my school principal, who was single then.  Maybe she is married now and has a dozen children.
  • My Life So Far.  I have tried to sketch it a little in this post.

I don’t mind being alienated for being different, but rather fear being copied.  I have never liked Copycats and I have come across many of them.  My BFF says I have the tendency to “overdo” things just so that people won’t copy me, and I hate it when she is right [which is ALWAYS] 😦

via Daily Prompt: Copycat

Five Giant

30 Oct

Many things came to mind as I stared at today’s prompt “Giant“.  It was a highly difficult decision to stick to only one and go on yakking about just that particular one.  Therefore, presenting an assortment of Giants I have come across:

    • a Giant rock [circa 2011].  I remember how I climbed this ginormous rock to very near the top.  Before I reached the top, there was a sort of a ledge so I didn’t bother to go higher.  I remember the breathtaking view from that spot.  I remember how I had forgotten to carry a camera and also my mobile during this expedition.  And I remember most vividly not having thought this climbing expedition through.  Climbing was “relatively” easier you see, because I was looking up throughout the climb.  It was only after witnessing the most amazing sunset from very near the top of a rock that is yet to be discovered, did I realise the way down was humanly impossible.  I also realised that if I were to die there, my body would NEVER be found.  I did come down the rock.  How I made it back though, I seriously DO NOT remember.
    • Giant Classmate.  He was almost 6ft tall at 13.  We all called him “giant” but never to his face.  But he knew that we called him what!  It all changed as most classmates started to grow as tall as him and some even taller, while I remained the Midget, which gives me a certain privilege and so this Giant Classmate is someone I still (and will always) refer to as my “Giant Classmate”.
    • Giant Whales. I once went whale watching and man were they giant!!!
    • Giant wheels.  I used to love the rides on giant wheels as a child.  Growing up, I began fearing not just the rides but the sights of them as well.  It all started when I overheard one of my grown-up cousins telling another not-so-grown-up cousin how she feared going on such rides.
    • The last standing Giant from GOT.  Although, he’s fallen now… Would be there any giants left in the seventh season?
  1. via Daily Prompt: Giant

Photo Challenge: Transmogrify

29 Oct

A friend trying to “Transmogrify” into BATMAN!!

transmogrify

via Photo Challenge: Transmogrify

Daily Prompt: Waiting

18 Oct

Things that can happen when you are à la Waiting

ONE:  The waiting becomes longer by the hour/ minute/ second/ micro second/ nano second

TWO:  Time turns into….

T   t i c k t o c k

           I  flipping   t  i  c  k  t  o  c  k

                               M    f     l    i   p   p   i   n   g   t     i     c    k    t     o     c     k

                                                                                                                                                      E  

THREE:  No matter how much you distract yourself, you keep coming back to “waiting”

FOUR:  Anxiety… Agony… Anger…. Aaaaaaargh… Anxiety Again

FIVE:  What you are waiting for may not [always] be “worth the wait”

via Daily Prompt: Waiting

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