RigHt HeRe

Right Here

Like in this picture i hold-
(evokes, evades and eludes)

Will you still be there,
when I have rounded the earth
when I have worn out
when I have exhausted?

When I return.
Will you dance with me
to the tunes we have danced before?
Will there be lights?

When the sun sets;
of the stars and the moon
or the green and the red
glittering and swaying,
will I find you here?

Even if you may have changed –
you may have a different name
a different face,
you may be just a new you,
the same you
or a different you.

I know you will be there
holding my hands
dancing to the tunes I’d danced before,
under the starlit sky
beneath the bright neons.
Whether I know you now
or if i’ll know you later,
I know you will be there.
I know you will be here.

Image Resource: Slow Dance

On a Day Like This [an unanticipated sequel]

I mean who’d have thought I’d be waking up to an award after a day like /on-a-day-like-this/ By the way before my morning green-tea coffee [coffee sounds better], I wordpress – I know I’m a loser but what the heck.

Anywhoa, I did get the Reader Appreciation award courtesy *the best blogger in town* Ms. The Lunatic …and I woke up *wide awake* happier… [I’ve never NEVER ever won anything my entire life, not even a flipping *scrabble* match and it almost became a little difficult to accept it at first]

…and it was then that I realised I wasn’t ready with my acceptance speech.

Well so I began working on the rules [there are some rules]: for details please visit my previous post —> /the-reader-appreciation-award/ Working on the rules gave birth to my 41st post which got a *Like* even before I had time to get a look at my own post – post publishing. Sky was beginning to be the limit for my sky-rocketing happiness.

However, the most important part of it all is how unprepared I was. I mean I grew up with Award-fantasies be it the Oscars or the Golden Globe or the BAFTA or the Grammy… Mind you, it wasn’t necessarily because I was working towards any of those awards but because I loved the “acceptance speeches”. So my award-fantasies were actually about the speeches and not merely the awards. And when the part came where I had to “show appreciation to the blogger who awarded you”… my ultimate-fantasy come true… to speak out the words like “I’d like to thank my mom and dad…..”  The words didn’t come out… I was completely floored with overwhelm-ation… If you think I’m making a fuss about nothing, well you didn’t see me sweat on my keyboard and stare at the screen for H.O.U.R.S.

At the end of the day, it was nice to wake up to a day like this immediately after a day not-quite like this. That makes me live the single LIFE. The unpredictability of unbalanced depression, delusion and delight.

Image Source: http://robertadeiana.ifunnyblog.com/awardacceptancespeeches/

P.S. A speech in time saves nine (hours of staring at your laptop’s screen) 😀 😉 😉

oN a dAY liKE tHIS

on a [SAD] day like this

On a day like this, when I wake up I want to go right back to sleep. There was a time when I looked forward to Sundays so much that I couldn’t even sleep the previous night. Sleeplessness is still there but the reason has changed from anticipation to anxiety.

On a day like this, I look out for a greener pasture. Maybe, if I weren’t *single*…..

 

On a day like this, I remember one of my buddies who got married at 17. We all, i.e. her friends, knew it was a disaster. We were wrong. She was married to a gem of a person. 5 years later, she thought we were actually right. It came as a BIG shock for us, the friends. At 23 she filed for a divorce. As soon as the divorce got through – practically on the same day – she got married again. She didn’t live a single life even for a day. Apparently she could no longer be happy with a Gem of a person, she moved to metal – a platinum of a person. We all, i.e. her friends, didn’t know what it was. We were in a shock and aftershock simultaneously.

 
She confessed to us, the friends, how much she loved Platinum and how real it was. We, the friends, agreed later when we realised how happy she was with Platinum. My friend in context is more like “Mary” from “There’s Something About Mary” [She attracts men like flies]. She confessed [more discreetly this time] to me, the friend, about getting into the second marriage way too quick. I resisted the urge to say “I told you so.”

 

 

On a day like this, I remember her second confession. Her second confession had a hint of  “If only I were single….” but obviously nowhere did it mean “I’m sad I’m married”.

On a day like this, I know no matter what we are, where we are, who we are, we do linger on the “What ifs….”. Not only because we are sad but also because the grass may always look greener on the other side.

 

Image Source:

http://s63.photobucket.com/albums/h127/kmlander247/?action=view¤t=sad-sad-kitty.jpg&newest=1

 http://www.kinoshot.ru/film/melodrama/page/5/

http://www.demotivation.us/the-grass-is-always-greener-1258824.html

wordpress vs. World Pressure

Oh how I wish life out there were just the way it’s in here?! There’s a big beautiful world in here compared to a Big Bad world out there. Want some proof?

The beautiful world of “wordpress”

L1fe of Str1fe

1. The Peanut-Circle:

Beginning/ end: I used to work for peanuts a long time back while babysitting my cousin. After school, I worked in a preschool for little more than peanuts.  You should have seen me then, swelling with pride. Then came the full-time corporate job after uni —> Monday to Friday, 9 to 5 high-paying, boring, monotonous desk-top white-collar job. I realised too soon I wasn’t enjoying the job apart from the salary. I quit. Went back to college to study. Dropped out of college after a year, traveled a bit and NOW back to working for peanuts. Beginning??? End???

2. My way or Highway

So I think sometimes it’s important to just sit back and stop whatever it is that you’re doing ~ take time off for no reason and travel all alone.  Go out there “On the Road” and “Into the Wild”. See different things or see things differently. Don’t get back until you’re ready. Don’t get back until you’ve figured out what is it that you’re “ready” for. This may be a time to collect your thoughts or the time to clear your head of all the “junk” thoughts.

http://www.dafyd.me.uk/

Being single = the privilege to start what I can/may never finish OR call it quits before I even start.

Being single = the downside of having no one to pin it on when things go wrong (as they always will)

3. The Peanut-butter Theory

 

And at the end of the day if everything else fails and all life has to offer is peanut, churn it into peanut butter [yummmm] and enjoy your peanut-butter sandwich. Lame as it may sound, I speak from experience and I love peanut butter. I can have them straight from the bottle.

Maybe some day it’ll all make sense [to me, at least]

rain OR shine

… a slow start… a slower day… I’m looking outside and it’s all white… it’s not winter but it’s slightly chilly, maybe because it’s drizzling… the world around me is engulfed in white and the white is slowly rising, like the curtain raising for a much-awaited show, in clusters of cottony mist… listening to Adele’s “daydreamer” and trying to write something…

I am a water-person (not only because I drink a lot of water). I love the oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, lagoons, waterfalls, streams, brooks and all forms of water-bodies except the puddles. However, I love the rain – be it drizzling or pouring cats and dogs – the only forms of water that I may not be interested in are puddles and Tsunami and its likes.

My dream-house has always had to be either by a lake/river/waterfall…. but then again I don’t mind trading it for a mansion with ocean-view or like the house-in-stilts from the movie “the Lake house”. I have never imagined a dream-house without water around it in any way. I’d love to go to Maldives, some day.

Image Source Page: http://www.planetdiveholidays.com/tours/maldives/maldives/50

Some of my unforgettable waterfront memories:

• Once a friend asked me to pick a place for her civil wedding and when the limited number of intimate friends gathered, they all gave me knowing looks – it was by a beautiful creek.
• On one chilly new year’s morning, I called my friends to accompany me (if not meet me there) by this lagoon. It was almost freezing and we were thoughtfully covered in our down-jackets. Two of my friends started fishing and to my pleasant-surprise, the fishing activity invited a lot of ripples (and luckily NO fish). I was grinning ear to ear until I saw a grumpy (not-a-morning-person-at-all) friend sitting next to me, pulling up his jacket every passing second, giving me what’s-there-to-smile-about-in-this-freezing-morning look.
• A friend had bought an SUV and who happened to know how much I love them. He called me and surprised me with the news. It was way past midnight (he used to work late shifts) and he was on his way home. I told him we could go for a ride. Knowing my undying love for SUV’s he came to pick me up. We went to…. a beach. I think it was past 2 am and I’ll never forget how our shadows reflected on the waves. It was beautiful.
• I fell in love with my ex after I saw his apartment. Well not quite like that, it was actually after I saw the view of a beautiful lagoon from his apartment. I may forget my ex, but I won’t forget the view. I myself am not a morning person but I used to get up early (like before 6) to enjoy the sunrise by the lake. We broke up after he shifted to a new place. No, no, no… the break-up had nothing to do with him moving. It’s just that I don’t believe in a long-distance relationship and on top of that I need to be single forever.

my collage – can’t stop clicking when i see the water (any forms)

I am fortunate to live by a lake, at present. The house isn’t on stilts 😦 and I don’t have a mail-box but the sad part about living here is – it looks like I’ve started taking my fortune for granted because I have missed the sunrise for a long long time now. [Note to MEself: wake up early tomorrow, take a pic and maybe blog about it]. But that’s another perk of being single and working for “peanuts” – I am at my OWN disposal. So if I do get up early tomorrow, it’s because I WANT TO not because i have to….

M loving it ———–> http://macdonaldsbestellen.webklik.nl/page/

in love with “Freshly Pressed”

Of course, the freshly pressed blogs really inspire me to take a magnifying glass and look at myself. I’m an aspiring writer (have always been and most probably – at the rate I’m going – will always be)  and have written for-my-eyes-only. Whatever I’d written have always been received with cheers and sometimes standing ovation because so far I have been my own  BEST audience.

Going through each post (esp. Freshly Pressed and then following the comments and the commentators to their blogs) has made me understand how many wonderful writers there are in this world. Each post is as amazing as the other one.

Blogs I’ve found through “Freshly Pressed”

Anglophonism I found her post witty, interesting and highly INFORMATIVE and so I immediately followed her. And thus began my journey into extinct-icity in terms of my so-called writing-skill. I began feeling small, smaller and the smallest with each new read. Then I became smallest, smallest-er and the smallest-est. But what an opportunity to learn and ~God forbid~ but I may plagiarize (forgive me all, if that seems to be the case because that’ll be purely coincidental). It’s only because I’m being inspired (that I may begin to think your way).

Through Anglophonism I found iammarcello and tried to crack what the blog-name meant (I decoded a little bit – a cello player, perhaps). Failed. Found out it read I am Marcello (if I am not wrong). I also found jumpforjoyphotoproject and wondered how come it never crossed my mind to do such a wonderful thing. I mean having jumped so many times for a click, perspiring and exhausting in the process, it never occurred to me to do a photo-project like that. All my puny brain could think of was – showing them off on Facebook. I’m on the verge of vanishing from the face of the earth.

Fresh as Schmuck followed me (my first Follow), a ray of hope… I may not vanish after all. The first “like” came from iammarcello (thank you, if i haven’t done it already. It could’ve only been because I must have been overwhelmingly speechless/ fingerless ~to  type~). Before this, in all honesty, I was the only one to “like” my own posts.

Then one of my posts got its first comment from Katlaire and I know I’m here to stay. I will not fade away, no matter how small I feel. Rather, I will grow. Hers is a blog that makes me see the “other” side I have never seen/ will never see. It’s amazing how we feel the same and I’ve really come to a conclusion (without jumping into one) that we are who we are whether we decide to stay single or marry the person one cannot live without.

For my budding blogging history, I can definitely mark yesterday (31.07.2012) as a milestone. I’ve visited a number of blogs, thanks to “Freshly Pressed” and also have been visited the most as well. I had a busy day yesterday. It all started with  this —-> http://hilariouslyeverafter.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/you-marriage-no-friends/

Then I found them…

• http://writerreaderbakerbride.wordpress.com/If ever I pen my memoir, you will be named as my inspiration.

• http://bottledworder.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/my-blog-audience/ Wishful thinking, that’s what this post is for me. One day, maybe I’ll be able to write like you. I’d like to worship you, really…. WOW!! Zillion cheers!!!
• theyoungplum.wordpress.com/And I thought I was funny.
• sophia It took me forever to decode “fourdoodlesandataco” but I had fun visiting her site. It was different, light and undoubtedly humorous.
• http://fortyteencandles.wordpress.com/This one here could be me some years later and if that’s the case… hell yeah!!! I’m up for it. I have a lot, a whole lot to learn from you and by the time I get there, I know there would be more learning left. Keep paving my way!!

• http://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/Seriously, can’t tell you how I felt going through this blog. I was moved, deeply, without knowing why… Maybe that’s what makes a great writer- Bringing to life an emotion the reader never knew existed…

and some more…

• http://mylivinglifeblog.wordpress.com/
• http://theboywithahat.wordpress.com/
• http://fromatoswithlove.wordpress.com/
• http://onethousandsingledays.com/

and many more….. I had a good day yesterday and I hope to have a better day today. Thanks you all. Thanks “Freshly Pressed”

I feel good to be single working for “peanuts” and living a hand-to-mouth existence because it all adds up to an opportunity to explore, discover and re-discover myself ALL ON MY OWN. Optimistic to the core :sigh: