Tag Archives: fighting relapse

an Idle Mind

25 Sep

This is coming from someone who is in complete denial of a relapse she is going through. For 24 hours, she did not smoke [clean sheet] and then the sheet got dirtier.

Now, why did this happen? She wonders! She was talking :gibberish: with her colleagues and before she knew it she reached out for a cigarette and walked out to the smoking corner. She toyed with that stick for a wee while – it was as if she was having second thoughts and a momentary “to smoke or not to smoke” pause. There was no one, just the cigarette and her.

She reminded herself that she had quit smoking to become healthier. She then asked herself the “need” to smoke right there and then. There was no “need” – she wasn’t stressed nor was she angry. ‘There wasn’t having-a-bad-day syndrome. A flash and there the cigarette was lit and she was inhaling the burned nicotine infested tobacco holding white cylindrical thing with a spongy yellowish butt.

The only NEW excuse she came down to [after she lit that first cigarette] – än ídlé mínd ís the SMÖKËR’s wórkshóp… and thus begins a new era of experiment. She has promised not to keep herself idle. Hence she might blog more if not watch movies. She’s since [since the first cigarette, today] watched – Game Change, A Mighty Heart and is now enjoying The Hunger Games while working, mind you.

NB. This post is being written in the Third Person because s1ngal is ashamed of the relapse. She will continue to write this way until the smoking and the relapse are a thing of the past. She wants you all to kindly bear with her and she wants you all to trust her when she says “She’s trying.” Like the_Lunatic commented, “It’s easy until it’s not”, s1ngal is finding it not EASY at this moment.

THE MAIN AISLE (c) 2020

Written with its readers interests in mind.

Duke University Press News

What's New at Duke University Press

Postcard from a Pigeon

Musings by Dermott Hayes, a writer

Seal Matches

Stories & News

My message to me

- and anyone else who may be listening

Timeandreflections

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"

Unlearning

Confessions of a Scholar Mom

Covert Novelist

Just another WordPress site

Madeline Scribes

Writing about the human condition and learning to laugh about it

Musings of a Random Mind

Fiction based on reality. Any similarities to the characters and events in the life of the author are purely intentional.

Designer Sophisticate

Ramblings — Musings — Cynical conversation

Sunken Thought

Just lost brainwaves

dueyvan

I am me. Not who I was. Not what has happened.

The Hope Filled Addict

I'm Restless No More

DCMontreal: Blowing the Whistle on Society

Eclectic social commentary with a chuckle and maybe a sting in the tail

Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman!

Descriptive writing on love, life, landscape, laughter and lodges!

juantetcts

The Courage To Shift is my Life Coach business that focuses on moving the client from victim, to VICTOR, regardless of their personal goals! Is there anything in life that you would like more of?

I'm not China be funny but this place is Beijing me crazy...

An Irish Girl's Tales from The Middle Kingdom

Life with Jess

Living LIfe Single, Sassy, and Joyfully!