This is coming from someone who is in complete denial of a relapse she is going through. For 24 hours, she did not smoke [clean sheet] and then the sheet got dirtier.
Now, why did this happen? She wonders! She was talking :gibberish: with her colleagues and before she knew it she reached out for a cigarette and walked out to the smoking corner. She toyed with that stick for a wee while – it was as if she was having second thoughts and a momentary “to smoke or not to smoke” pause. There was no one, just the cigarette and her.
She reminded herself that she had quit smoking to become healthier. She then asked herself the “need” to smoke right there and then. There was no “need” – she wasn’t stressed nor was she angry. ‘There wasn’t having-a-bad-day syndrome. A flash and there the cigarette was lit and she was inhaling the burned nicotine infested tobacco holding white cylindrical thing with a spongy yellowish butt.
The only NEW excuse she came down to [after she lit that first cigarette] – än ídlé mínd ís the SMÖKËR’s wórkshóp… and thus begins a new era of experiment. She has promised not to keep herself idle. Hence she might blog more if not watch movies. She’s since [since the first cigarette, today] watched – Game Change, A Mighty Heart and is now enjoying The Hunger Games while working, mind you.

IMAGE SOURCE: http://bosco-fun.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=49 + s1ngal’s artwork
NB. This post is being written in the Third Person because s1ngal is ashamed of the relapse. She will continue to write this way until the smoking and the relapse are a thing of the past. She wants you all to kindly bear with her and she wants you all to trust her when she says “She’s trying.” Like the_Lunatic commented, “It’s easy until it’s not”, s1ngal is finding it not EASY at this moment.