Tag Archives: enjoying singlehood

Tough times

27 Jul

I’m going through a rough period in my life. The last 2 days have been awful with my finance depleting at a supersonic speed. My nerves too are on the verge of becoming extinct because a co-worker’s been getting on them :@ a little TOO MUCH. Image

Luckily, being s1ngle does give me the pleasure of blaming “this period” to being s1ngle. These are times when I wish the wishful thinking, sighing “If I had a boyfriend/ a fiance/ a husband/ an ex……” Whoa!!! I DO HAVE AN EX ๐Ÿ˜€ As soon as it dawned on me that I DO HAVE AN EX, I picked up the phone and almost called him to discuss things (the things happening to me are actually beyond me/ my understanding).

What made me stop –

  1. I’ve always solved my problem by myself (regardless of any regards) and if I do/ did call him, I’ll be listening to his problems more than talking about mine. I’m pretty sure he has problems (he used to have them all the time so all the time includes NOW, if I’m not wrong).
  2. If I did call him and luckily if he were without problems, would things happening to me not be beyond him/ his understanding?
  3. If I did call him and luckily if he were to be without problems and perhaps he would understand things happening to me…. but how in the hell was I expecting to explain the things happening to me when in fact it’s actually beyond me/ my understanding?
  4. Do I even have a problem?? What was the problem again??? If the problems are beyond me, could I be actually having problems????
  5. Last but not the least, I don’t have my ex’s number because I had deleted it when I decided to enjoy my single-hood. I must thank my good fortune here because… imagine calling one’s ex and having to explain problems beyond one’s understanding and so forth just to realise the fourth point above.

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Well, I’m lucky to be single. When things go wrong, I can always pin it on being single. And the luckiest part is finding out it isn’t.

Don’t worry about ME

26 Jul

What is the most funny thing about being single is – it’s not me who’s worried, it’s the others. For me their worries spell “envy”. Oh well, yes I know I’m flattering myself a little too much than I deserve.

I was in the 11th grade when a friend (a very very good friend) tried enlightening me. She was a lovely girl (I regret not keeping in touch with her) and an intelligent one too. Now that’s a rare combo, I’m sure. So yeah, she was worried about me and the decision I had taken. I have been very vocal about my decision to stay single so everyone who knows me knows that I aspire to stay single (even my ex-boyfriends).

Back to my lovely friend – she usually tried changing my mind. It was one of many such conversations (the excerpt of which I’m going to narrate) after which it was she who almost got enlightened and after which we stopped having conversation regarding – NOT staying single.

Imageย ย  MY FRIEND: Life gets tough as we grow older. Life alone gets tough, big time.

ME: Nod, Nod, Nod (After all, my mom had told me about this and listening to something true and real and important and amazing can be wearying nonetheless, the second time around).

MY FRIEND: Who will you share your troubles with? It’s not possible to solve all your problems by yourself.

ME: Nodding, nodding, nodding still.

….. and then….

(enlightened) ME: Hey, ever wondered??? If I’m alone, my problems will be lesser than if I marry or get into a relationship. Cos then I’ll have a spouse who’ll have troubles too and before we know it, we have double-troubles. Being single – I’ll only have MY problems to solve. Being with someone, WE will have OUR problems to solve. What do you say??

MY FRIEND: (Pondering! Pondering!!) I’ve never given that a thought but you do have a point.

MY FRIEND: Quiet.

Well, some people are meant to be with someone, meant to be in a relationship, meant to get married, meant to have a “happily ever after” endings. They are perfect the way they are. So at the end of the day, what we should not forget is that there are people who are meant to be S1NGLE, who are happy being S1NGLE. They, too, are perfect the way they are.

Being in a relationship or being S1NGLE is like the yin and the yang and so is everything in life.

Meant to be

25 Jul

….there I was in the boarding school, looking up to the single Head Mistress and getting inspired to be single.

Along came my teenage years and it was as if I was meant to be nothing but s1ngle. I began worshiping who else but the one and only Oprah (to find out later – in my life – that she doesn’t believe in the “institution of marriage”).

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However, I DO believe in the institution of marriage. It’s just that out of thousands of role-models to choose from, I couldn’t (still can’t) believe I found it in Oprah. Undoubtedly she is an ultimate success story of rags to riches, girl power and all that jazz. For me, she (or her life) is actually synonymous to a “second chance” or a “hope”.

She is one woman who, through her show, has (indirectly) been responsible for who/ what I am today. The fact remains that I didn’t look up to her because she was single. I looked up to her and she turns out not to believe in “marriage” (apparently making her single) – all adds to the fact that I am destined to be s1ngle ๐Ÿ™‚

I AM MEANT TO BE……

…..S1NGLE….

A HAPPY S1NGLE G1RL

A HAPPY S1NGLE WOMAN

๐Ÿ˜€

Mom’s “The words”

24 Jul

At 9, when I told my my parents about my decision to stay single…. well they listened to me. My words may have fallen into deaf ears then. So I had to call them for a serious talk when I turned 15.

The excerpt as I remember (Part I):

ME: Mom, Dad. I want to stay single and I mean it. I’ve thought it through and that’s the way it’s going to be.

DAD:

MOM: OK.

That was the end of the conversation (it was sometimes in the morning).

The excerpt as I remember (Part II):

Evening, mom asked me if she could talk to me. She looked concerned (finally my decision must’ve made some impression).

MOM: So, are you sure about staying single?

ME: YES (Not-again Yes).

MOM: I must tell you it’s not going to be easy.

ME: I know (the I-don’t-care-what-you-have-to-say I KNOW).

MOM: Maybe you don’t know but I’m not here to change your mind or your decision. It’s your choice… Life is tough for a single girl/ woman. It gets very lonely and unbearable as you grow old. You know Aunt “………..” (I had always pitied my aunt, she is an old hag), that’s who you’ll more or less end up like (my decision’s starting to falter ).

And the sad part is I can’t even tell you marriage guarantees happiness. Maintaining relationships needs hard work, solid work.

You have to work hard to be happy whether you choose to be single or not. I just hope you’re not choosing to be single because you think it’s the easy way out. And if that’s the case, I want you to know it isn’t.

The CONCLUSION (I drew and still live by) is in Bold & Italic texts.

WOW!!! My mom sounds like a mom’s version of Dr. Phil B-) [Trust me, that’s not always the case.]

the Reason

24 Jul

Image

The reason I’m single isn’t because some jerk broke my heart. It isn’t because I’m scared or even scarred in some way when it comes to relationship.

The reason I’m single is because I don’t need a reason to be single. That’s just the way I am.

I grew up watching the chick-flicks and reading Mills & Boons, where “Tall, dark, handsome” boys fall for “Beautiful, slender, awesome” girls. Ever since, whenever I’d see good looking boys, instead of crushing in on them, I used to virtually imagine stories for them where some drop-dead-gorgeous girls would be waiting to be swept off their feet.

By the 10th grade, I had created some hundreds of love stories to be forgotten in time. Now when I think of it, I’m so meant to be a single writer. AND am I getting started???

i love…

24 Jul

As a single woman, I have done the following ALONE and enjoyed every bit of it –

  • traveling (hiking/ trekking/ cycling/ boating/ cruising/ flying….)

  • eating (at home & away)

  • going to movies (chick flicks to “PARANORMAL ACTIVITY” :$)

  • ย reading and writing (OBviously, duh)

The only problem is esp. while traveling, I have no one to click my pics. But thankfully enough, the cameras have “self-timer” mode YIPPIEEEEEE

genes1s

24 Jul

How it all began!!!

It all began a long long ago. I was sent to a boarding school where the Head Mistress was (is) s1ngle. That’s exactly when I decided to live a s1ngle life.

According to a 9 year old “me”, she was the most fascinating human being in the whole world. I don’t even know how old or young she was when she inspired me to take this journey of s1ngle-hood, she just did it. (I’m sure she has no idea whatsoever). NB. She wasn’t as AWFUL as the pic above but she wasn’t all that “wonderful” to have inspired me either…. well errr it just happened.

It was as if the s1ngledom had just found me or vice versa and that we were always meant to be found :S TRUST ME,it makes perfect sense to me ๐Ÿ˜€

 

A.M.Bradley

The Forgotten Writer

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