Tag Archives: best friends forever

to U who Understood

20 Aug

My biggest complain as a teenager was –> Nobody understands me. And so I used to be by myself, sulking and contemplating self-destructive techniques. Then I met my first BFF a little before the final laps of my teenage years. She understood me – more than I understood myself and I still call her my BFF even though we haven’t spoken for years [unless you call a comment here and there on facebook status ~ speaking].

She accepted me for who I was ~ a cranky self-pitying teenager. She never tried to change me, nor did she once ask me why I was the way I was. However, she was vocal about her problems, her self-pitying thoughts, low self-esteem, eating disorder and all other diseases that comes along with the teens-pack. Together, while fighting against her vices, I fought mine, too. While fortifying against her insecurities, I was building my own bulwark. I was always amazed at her strength to cry and scream at me for leaving her alone or hurting her. [Until then, I thought if you confided in anyone how you’d felt hurt, the others would use it against you to hurt you again]. Through this strength of hers, I tore down the walls that held the “strong” facade and dared to leave myself vulnerable.

Then the inevitable happened – we grew up and apart.

Luckily, by the time we parted ways, I was fully armoured. I was left alone – but no longer sulking. I found a different me in solitude. I spilled my own beans with myself, I opened my closets and dared to look the skeletons in their eyes, I hung them out to dry and packed them back neatly.I have come to realise, over the years, that at times showing weakness needs more strength than showing strength itself. By laying herself bare, my BFF made me stronger because let’s face it we were on the same boat [aka ship].

The best thing that happened thereafter is –> I accepted me for who I was.

Image source:

http://www.mycafelove.com/2012/02/heart-touching-line-dedicated-to-all.html

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Don’t worry about ME

26 Jul

What is the most funny thing about being single is – it’s not me who’s worried, it’s the others. For me their worries spell “envy”. Oh well, yes I know I’m flattering myself a little too much than I deserve.

I was in the 11th grade when a friend (a very very good friend) tried enlightening me. She was a lovely girl (I regret not keeping in touch with her) and an intelligent one too. Now that’s a rare combo, I’m sure. So yeah, she was worried about me and the decision I had taken. I have been very vocal about my decision to stay single so everyone who knows me knows that I aspire to stay single (even my ex-boyfriends).

Back to my lovely friend – she usually tried changing my mind. It was one of many such conversations (the excerpt of which I’m going to narrate) after which it was she who almost got enlightened and after which we stopped having conversation regarding – NOT staying single.

Image   MY FRIEND: Life gets tough as we grow older. Life alone gets tough, big time.

ME: Nod, Nod, Nod (After all, my mom had told me about this and listening to something true and real and important and amazing can be wearying nonetheless, the second time around).

MY FRIEND: Who will you share your troubles with? It’s not possible to solve all your problems by yourself.

ME: Nodding, nodding, nodding still.

….. and then….

(enlightened) ME: Hey, ever wondered??? If I’m alone, my problems will be lesser than if I marry or get into a relationship. Cos then I’ll have a spouse who’ll have troubles too and before we know it, we have double-troubles. Being single – I’ll only have MY problems to solve. Being with someone, WE will have OUR problems to solve. What do you say??

MY FRIEND: (Pondering! Pondering!!) I’ve never given that a thought but you do have a point.

MY FRIEND: Quiet.

Well, some people are meant to be with someone, meant to be in a relationship, meant to get married, meant to have a “happily ever after” endings. They are perfect the way they are. So at the end of the day, what we should not forget is that there are people who are meant to be S1NGLE, who are happy being S1NGLE. They, too, are perfect the way they are.

Being in a relationship or being S1NGLE is like the yin and the yang and so is everything in life.

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