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OR is it

17 Jan

A toothache…

dull yet lingering…

A dentist’s invitation?

via Daily Prompt: Invitation

Meek Confession

16 Jan

I am and will always remain an aspiring writer.  I’m too scared to write what I really want to write, and so I write generic stuff.  Writing topically will never get me there, yes I know.  I wonder what it would be like to strip myself bare and write all that’s to be written… what would then remain of me…?  What scares me… my words or how my words may be (mis)judged?

At times, I have dared to bare my soul but I always stop myself halfway or rather within a quarter.  Then I start polishing the language until it becomes generic and so it will always be… :sigh:  Some day, I shall be strong.  One day, I shall write like I don’t care.  That day I shall become a writer in true sense….

Until then…

Let me talk about my movie marathon with a film-fanatic-friend [FFF].  This FFF and I are now estranged… we’ve lost touch… we’ve cut ties or rather I think I did the honour of cutting ties with him.  Well, last time we saw each other we reminisced our movie marathon era… it was either his place, his films and my chips or the other way round… “films” was the only bond between us and so our filmy bond was flimsy and flitting…

All that now remains is the memory of the bygone movie marathon memory!!!

via Daily Prompt: Marathon

Discovered Today

23 Dec

There is always news to be discovered, unearthed and learned secondhand.

The hijacking of a Libyan plane has ended peacefully after armed men who seized control surrendered in Malta… THE NEWS

Suspect Berlin attacker shot dead at Milan…THE NEWS

I’m tired of THE NEWS of dying and the killing…   It is time to rediscover and restore peace!  It is time we rediscover faith in each other and discover empathy in ourselves.

via Daily Prompt: Discover

On Moron

20 Dec
  • I’ve recently had the misfortune of meeting a MORON… He is the epitome of MORON and so the only justice I can do him is by calling him a MORON in all caps. 
  • Having to share a room at work with this MORON, I must say is one malicious act of Fortune.

I read it somewhere…

  • This MORON is alive only because we are not Fortunate enough to strangle to death anyone for the criminal act of MORONism.
  • I have this misfortune of sharing my space [at work] with this MORON for this week and the whole week next week….

  • My only compensation, this MORON will be gone by the end of this year. And fortunately I will be bidding all things MORON by the end of this year.  Yippieeeeeeeeeee!

via Daily Prompt: Fortune

Tonic for Panic

19 Dec

There was a time I couldn’t ever just relax. It was just impossible.  And then I learned the trick.  And since then, I have done nothing but relax.

Why did I have to learn to relax?

People who knew me knew that I panicked easy.  They who knew me knew too well that I could panic for insubstantial reasons.  I began to relax once I realised that I did panic for silly reasons…  Panicking for insubstantial reasons is frowned upon… Panicking for insubstantial reasons often leads you to make more mistakes… Panicking for insubstantial reasons clouds your brains and mind… Panicking for insubstantial reasons blocks you from seeing the bigger picture… Panicking for insubstantial reasons makes you jumpy and pushes you to jump into sillier conclusions… Panicking for insubstantial reasons lets you believe in all insubstantial substances… Panicking for insubstantial reasons gives people around you not believe in your reasons to panic.  Hence, I had to learn to relax.

How did I learn to relax? Here’s my tonic for panic:
Image result for past is past quote

Image result for this too shall pass Image Source

Image Source
  1. Past has passed.
  2. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
  3. Que Sera Sera 

If I worried about “what-ifs” of my past, I told myself “Past’s passed.”

When I found worrying over my present predicament, I told myself “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.”

And for all my worries of the future, I chanted Que Sera Sera….

via Daily Prompt: Relax

Labelled Moody

18 Dec

I’ve been watching Downton Abbey over and over again, for no reasons whatsoever.  Well, that may not be quite so.  I have my reasons for watching it over and over again.

So, why do I watch it repeatedly?  It is to understand characters like Mrs. O Brien and Thomas.  I find their characters intriguing because I have had the misfortune of meeting their likes in my life.

What are they like?  Well, they are bad for nothing.  They just want trouble.  They wish trouble for others.  Now, I know why people want to be good and why they want to do good things.  But, I have never ever found out why people intentionally wish bad upon others, for no reasons.

Although, I do understand people defaming one another to get ahead of each other.  Some people do evil things to avenge.  That may be understandable.  Some people do bad things because they are jealous of the ones they wish trouble for.  Some people do evil to get attention.  Some people do evil things unknowingly and often don’t realise that they are doing something evil.  Apart from such “genuine” reasons for doing bad things, there are some who do evil just for the sake of doing evil.

These people do not have any hidden agendas.  They are just purely evil.  These are the bullies, the evil bullies.

In my life, whenever I have tried to stand up to such characters, I have been labelled moody, temperamental, spoilsport, sensitive, “doesn’t have a sense of humour”, “doesn’t even understand we are joking”…  And so, for a long time I blamed myself and believed that I may be all the “labels”.  For a longer time, I became the labels.  For the longest time, my conscious and conscience both imprisoned me.

Image result for anti bully memeThen I rebelled.  I wasn’t all the labels.  I wasn’t moody and I had all the rights to be angry when they conspired against me.  I wasn’t temperamental just because I didn’t like their “labeling” jokes.  I wasn’t a spoilsport just because I walked out on their labeling games.  I wasn’t sensitive just because I felt like sulking when they laughed at my expense.  I wasn’t the one with no sense of humour just because I couldn’t laugh at the jokes at my expense.

I was humane, they were not.  I began feeling pity on them.  What a life they must be living!  If their happiness comes from seeing others miserable, that just shows how very miserable their lives must be.  This is how I have become an expert at burning bridges – the bad bridges, at least.  These bridges can’t be restored.  They only see their side of the coin and they can find nothing evil in themselves.  I feel sorry for them now.  I really do.

 

via Daily Prompt: Moody

Endurance End

15 Dec

I can’t remember if I read it somewhere or perhaps I heard this from someone… that “suicide is never planned”.  I don’t know how true it truly is.  This is apparently so because if we “plan” a suicide, our subconscious or our unconscious will start creating fear or presenting obstacles to the “plan”.

So then my concern is when we do snap… how long it takes for our enduring self to snap… when does the endurance turn to a folly to be put an end to…  I may not only be talking about “suicide” here, though.  Think “domestic violence”!  Many cases of domestic violence show a woman enduring… enduring still… and then one day she decides enough is enough… she decides to put an end to her endurance… she decides to show the perpetrator his/ her folly… often the perpetrators may be persecuted… often not. 

Anyway… my question is –>

When does enduring become unendurable enough to be ended?

Image result for snap decision meme

Image Source


via Daily Prompt: Folly

Plenty in Nothing

14 Dec

2015 was a difficult year for me – the hard times.  There was nothing –  no money, no job, no food, no hunger, no ambition, no inhibition, no anxiety, no peace… nothing.

But…

With no food in my fridge… my mind would always be filled with things I could eat.  The mornings I woke up to no-food were the mornings I weighed my options on what I would eat…

maybe I’d get some bread and peanut butter spread…

maybe I’d get some eggs too…

a little bacon  maybe… I haven’t had bacon for quite some time now.

Forget bread… Forgotten… Pasta then…

I could also get some white sauce…

a little bacon won’t hurt…. yum.

Forget pasta… Forgotten… Burger prolly…

Yep… I could get the burger meal… drinks and fries too… :salivate:

Burger’s not healthy… forget burgers… Forgotten…

Drink water… kill hunger… fix some tea… drink tea… sleep.

Now imagine this… if I actually had food in the fridge, would I have had so many options!

Lesson learned:  To have nothing is to have lots of options.  To have nothing is to have plenty.  Plenty in nothing.  Oxymoron?

So… should I live with nothing and enjoy the plenty nothing??? A Conundrum??

to PLAN a LIFE

13 Dec

A Random Quote:

“The best feeling comes when you realize you’re perfectly happy even without the person you once thought you needed most.”

A Bespoke Coat:  By Tom Ford, for Tom Ford

I watched Tom Ford on Jimmy Kimmel Show and today’s prompt got me thinking about that show for no reason other than to use the word “Bespoke“.  He apparently doesn’t “hang out” and it was very difficult for me to get around that fact.

Well, here I am… living life on the edge… living a plan-less life… I have been thinking of living a slightly more planned life and the thought itself has started giving me scares.  The anxiety that I am getting while thinking of planning a more planned-life is pushing me to a frenzied Phagomania [a psychological condition that causes a person to be obsessed with food and or the excessive desire to eat].

And TOM FORD in his bespoke suit [that he apparently designed himself] doesn’t hang out…. he PLANS a year ahead… and my head is spinning…

via Daily Prompt: Bespoke

Yep, call me SELFISH

6 Dec

Often we are victims of injustice because (let’s face it) Life doesn’t play Fair.  Thus, often the question is how we fare after we’ve been served the “injustice”.

Growing up and so growing older than I ever was, I have understood that embracing such injustice with grace is more graceful than whining and sulking in a corner.  Playing the victim, playing the martyr was like playing dead – it had no life.  So, why live lifeless by being the martyr.

I learned this valuable lesson two years ago when I was going through some hard times in life.  I was friendless… utterly hopeless… and lifeless.  Let me try explaining the whys and the hows.

I bumped into this old friend two years ago.  This old friend and I had been through some rough times together, in the past.  We weren’t the “BFFs” but we were the sort of “friends in need” at that time in the past.  And now, there she was… all smiles… she used her “reprimanding tone” asking me why I hadn’t stayed in touch… blah blah. As for me, I felt slightly awkward [for my own personal reasons] but then again we spoke very politely to each other, steering clear from speaking about our “rough times.”

Fast forward one month.  I bumped into the same old friend again.  This time she wasn’t alone.  She had two friends in tow, and they looked like they were having a great time.  Once again we exchanged pleasantries… this time I was slightly more friendlier than the earlier meet.  I was more relaxed.  But something about the friend told me she didn’t want me there.  For a person who only needs the subtlest hint of such kind, I excused myself.  As I was walking away, I heard her whisper-confessing to her friends “I can’t remember her name…”

That whisper disturbed me for weeks afterwards.  My mind was filled with questions.  Did she deliberately intend for me to hear those words?  How could she have forgotten my name after only a month of bumping into each other?  How could she, who had remembered my name after two years of not seeing each other, have forgotten my name?  Why would she pretend to have forgotten my name?

And I fell into that abyss… everyday I woke up with the same questions… the more I asked myself these questions, the more I curled up in bed… the more I curled up in bed, the more depressed I became… the more depressed I became, the less I went out… the less I went out, the more I felt sad… the sadder I felt, the more depressed I got… the more depressed I got, the more suicidal I felt… I became the victim and so I played the martyr.

Looking back, I can only think of a month that I’ll never ever get back. 

So, I have decided never to play the victim again, no matter how unfair my life turns out.  I have decided never to let my precious time be ruined by such worthless beings.  I have decided never to waste my seconds dwelling on such schmucky gunks ever, and if I ever do… it will only be to produce a post on my blog…. O yeah?!  Go… go ahead and call me SELFISH and see if it matters.  PFFT


via Daily Prompt: Martyr

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