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the Aromatic sense

21 Nov

If I close my left eye, what I usually see is a blur… blurred texts… blurred faces… blurred blurs.  If I close my right eye, I can see things crystal clear.  So, I wear glasses because I have to wear glasses.

My favourite escapade – Music – Earphones – full volume… I have this amazing capacity to zone out… vanish from the “scene”… all I ever needed was my iPod and it worked like magic… The magic however has affected my hearing…

I am not a foodie-foodie if you know what I mean.  I am the kind of a person who eats to live and not the one who lives to eat.  When it comes to food, I can eat everything under the sun if I’m hungry and turn away from the most appealing food when I’m not.

I am not much of a touchy-feely person either…  I can’t tell silk from polyester nor linen from cotton.  I can hardly tell the difference.

And so, I am really only proud of my fifth sense, that of smell!  I always thought that I had the unique capacity to recall memories at the whiff of something aromatic… And then I read the novel Perfume.  I couldn’t believe the words in the novel… the words spoke of  my experience… I got so spooked that I couldn’t read it beyond the first page.  It rang so true that I didn’t want to read any further.  Years later, I did finish reading the novel and by then I had come to realise that there are lots of people out there with the same sort of olfactory experience… and that no NOVEL was yet written about me [sad, this discovery was].

It’s amazing how a certain aroma can bring back memories that have been stored and stowed away for good… finding an old diary and reading the words in it may not bring alive the experience but one sniff of an old perfume bottle does the magic.  This is one reason why whenever I begin a new journey or decide to turn a new leaf in life, the first thing I do is buy a new bottle of perfume.

Every relationship I had has a certain bottle labelled to it.  Every milestone has one bottle dedicated to it.  These near-empty aromatic bottles are my TIME MACHINE!

via Daily Prompt: Aromatic

Loftier than Thou

13 Nov

Growing up was a painful process for me.  It had a lot to do with my parents’ ideologies – my father and his lofty ideals and my mother with her materialistic ideas.  Thus, I had a torn childhood – torn between what to believe, torn between which ideals to hold.

 

 

Maybe it was the lack of the glitz and glitter growing up, I was one fiercely ambitious teenager.  All I wanted to do after high-school was join the white-collar job and go corporate all the way, monthly earnings in six digits, latest gadgets in hand, designer shoes and bags and clothes, chicest ride and a lavish pad.  My mother was proud of me, my father appalled.

I was on my way, progressing at some sort of supersonic speed.  As time ticked, I was beginning to tick those boxes.

Then one fine day, I was no longer only my mother’s daughter after all.  That one fine morning, my father’s daughter decided to show herself.  She detested the mad and meaningless race for the money.  She almost went mad.  She had to see the therapist to see what was actually happening.  Like her father, she did have her own set of lofty ideals!

via Daily Prompt: Lofty

Daily Prompt: Flames

12 Nov

Flames,
Fire.

Fire,
Winter.

Winter,
Chill!

Well, I am the kind of a person who enjoys the cold.  I am the kind of a person who cannot wait for summer to get over.  I love the winter’s chill.  That’s just me.  I love wrapping myself in layers and layers of clothes to fight the cold.  I love the piling blankets at night.  Winter for me is seeking warmth (indoors).  Winter for me is chilling out (indoors)!!

However, some of my friends have a weird way of warding off winter’s wintry woes.  They make campfire and I am supposed to sit/ stand around it – the wintertainment.  I admit, I do love the crackling sounds the fire makes, I love looking at the wild blazing flames, I love the biting chill that no amount of standing around the fire can make go.

So, why the campfire?  The pragmatic me could never see any good in this practice… NEVER.  The only warming/ heating that happens is to the side that’s facing the fire.  Unless we have 4-5 campfires going all around us, there is no way the fire can actually help us to get warm.  And if it isn’t to get warm that the fire was started then… Why then… oh why?  Why can’t we just sit indoors and wrap ourselves in blankets instead, and speak about fire and flames and make plans to save the world!

via Daily Prompt: Flames

Today in History: Election Day — The Gad About Town

8 Nov

In the United States of America, today is Election Day. The next inhabitants of the offices of President and Vice President are to be filled by voters along with one-third of the seats in the United States Senate, the entire population of the House of Representatives, and many local elections (mostly, state legislatures). Today’s presidential […]

via Today in History: Election Day — The Gad About Town

The Big Con: what is really at stake in this US election — Postcard from a Pigeon

8 Nov

On the day you go to the polls, I urge my American friends to cast their eyes over this article by Ben Fountain from The Guardian newspaper. Anyone who can begin an article with a quote from David Bowie and, in the same article, quote Sam Cooke as well, gets my vote.read more

via The Big Con: what is really at stake in this US election — Postcard from a Pigeon

Some Irksome Quirks

7 Nov

I’m not a perfectionist and fortunately I do not have those OCD’s.  As a human being [as if it were possible for me to be anything else], I am very easy to get along with.  As a human being, I easily get along with people.  As a human being, I’m easy to be around with.  As a  human being, I can easily bring about comfort and ease.  As a human being, I can sorta lighten up an otherwise tense situation.  As a human being, I can do all of this in a one-hit-wonder sort.

I am, au fond, a normal human being in normal circumstances.

However, as an irked human being, I am the woman scorned and my wrath is what has been told and retold from days of yore to be aware of.  To illustrate further, here’s a QUOTE by William Congreve:

So what transforms me from the first-paragraph-human being to the irked human being aka the woman scorned?  The answer –> Well, just some quirks that I find irritably irksome. And now I’d like to list them [without any drum rolls… please]

  1. When people do not pay me for my hard work when they are supposed to.  

  2. When people pay me for my hard work but assume that the work wasn’t hard enough for me to get paid the “agreed” amount.

  3. When I have to put in extra work in chasing people around to get paid for my hard work.

  4. When people ask me about what I plan to do with the wee wad of wonga I have been paid for my hard work. 

  5. When people do not show up on time -period-

Yes, I admit I tend to get a bit touchy when it comes to money matters [after all 4 out of 5 points can turn me from a monk to a monster].  Besides, I have chosen to go astray from a money-making white-collar job to living on the edge [money-wise].  It was a conscious choice and I do not regret it one bit.  I do my calculations and I work just enough to make ends meet so that for the rest of my time I can LIVE.

So you get my point, right?  Well if you don’t, let me remind you that I could easily turn into a woman scorned trying to explain things that I tend to get a bit touchy about!!!

via Daily Prompt: Irksome

Couch Potato or Adventurer

3 Nov

An adventurer at heart but a couch-potato in reality?

It isn’t that I haven’t given adventure a shot, I Sincerely have.

Sincere Attempt # 1

My friends and I were hiking one day, when a bee or whatever it was kept buzzing around my face.  I screamed, ran this way and that, swatting at it helplessly with my hands, shooing vehemently and in the end requesting it to leave me alone… and yet that bloody buzzing bee/ fly/ creature kept at me.  There were four of us and that buzzing creature had to come at me!!!

Sincere Attempt # 2

Adventurer that I was, I climbed this giant rock [Ive written about it here].  Climbing it was a piece of cake compared to coming downhill.  The rock was steep and hardly had any footholds.  The rock was slippery (why had I not seen it coming up!).  I couldn’t remember how I had climbed up so that I could at least retrace my steps back.  I couldn’t even how far below I had to go till I could safely jump-land.  And it was getting dark.  I took off my shoes, slung them around my shoulders, and then my tiny feet began feeling and finding the almost invisible footholds, footholds barely an inch wide.  That is all I remember.  To this day, I do not know how I made it back.  And so that was the first and the very final rock-climbing adventure.

Sincere Attempt # 3

It was another all-girls trek to the wild.  However this time, the wilderness was only a slight detour.  There were like parallel tracks – one that looked like a “rough terrain”, but a little higher we could hear cars and hop-on-hop-off buses wheezing by. A win-win.  The friends were super hesitant to leave the “safety” of the main road.  I convinced them that if the “trek to the wild” was a little too much, all we had to do was jump three steps and we’d be right back on the road.  They were convinced… Yaye!!  It was lovely walking in the bushes… oooh were we so adventurous!!  And then one friend spotted what looked like a snake.  We all froze.  There it was, creeping out of the hole.  It saw us and it stopped right there.  I saw it.  I did.  Two of the friends didn’t even dare look at it.

Now this was a small walking trail, three jumps to the right and we’d be on the road.  And this snake was right there, on the right.  There was no way going forward because it was a narrow trail… We couldn’t go back because now we all knew what could be waiting out there for us.  My friends shot daggers at me, and I know if it weren’t for that snake they might as well have put a dagger through me.  We were stuck.  We were all crying, hapless, helpless and hopeless.

Why, oh why, did I open my mouth?

Aeons later, we saw another human being walking towards us.  We cried for help.  We informed him about our predicament.  He was like where where… he took out his camera and began taking its picture… We were like “..er could you shield us from that monster while we pass?”  And so he did and that was the last time I ever strayed from the main road.

Sincere Attempt # 4

This was a fine trail, safe and easy.  My travel partner was a “pro” and she had all the gears for a safe hike.  No bushes.  No monsters.  Just a pair of good boots and strong legs.  We hiked for several hours and it was good, nothing untoward had happened and so I was growing comfortable… and maybe I was growing too comfortable too soon.  Our hotel was a kilometre ahead when I saw a sign that said “Lake – Detour 200 m from here”, and it pointed up.  My “pro” travel buddy passed this wonderful opportunity.  It was around 2 pm so I thought 200m up and 200m down… and I’d still make it to the hotel by 3.  Thus, we parted ways.

It was indeed a short walk uphill and I saw this beautiful lake.  It was the most beautiful blue I had ever seen.  I dipped my feet there for a while and it felt amazing.  No, I didn’t go skinny-dipping.  I took pictures and just relaxed by the lake-shore.  It was peaceful.  It was heaven.  I looked at my wristwatch, especially worn for adventures and an hour had passed in a jiffy.  Sigh.  And I began my way back.  After climbing down almost a kilometre, I couldn’t see my hotel.  I couldn’t even see the sign that was there.  Was I in some horror film?  Where was I?  Where was that sign?  Where was the track?  I had lost my way.

It was around 4 when I saw a dog.

Around 5, I saw a group of people and I asked them where they were headed.  They said someplace and the name didn’t ring a bell.  I gave them my most confident smile and asked them if I could join them.  And we all walked together.  Actually, I walked a few paces behind them.  I didn’t want them speaking to me.  After about half an hour, I saw the hotel where I was supposed to spend the night.  I ran.  I said goodbye to these people as I ran.  I ran past the gate.  There was a group of 4-5 men and then I saw my “pro” travel partner.  She was getting together a search-and-rescue team.

Sincere Attempt # 5

No details. I was chased by a cow while responding to a nature’s call in the wild.

______________________________________________________________

I wish I weren’t an adventurer at heart.  I am scared of the creepy crawlers and so I do not have any place in the wilderness.  I have zero sense of direction and so exploring is totally out of the question. 

And yet, here I am.  I did hike!  I did trek!  I did get lost!  I did get chased by some buzzing creature and even a cow!  I did climb a rock and I did climb it down!  I am meant to be a couch-potato but I did dare defy it!  I am not meant to be an adventurer but I did dare defy it, too!

So what am I – an adventurer or a couch-potato?  I rest my case.

via Daily Prompt: Sincere

The Real Post

2 Nov

FYI I have already posted a post on Bludgeon.

And then I went on to read other posts by other bloggers, just to realise how lame mine was.  And why wouldn’t it be?

Well… when I first saw the prompt, all I could think of was some sort of raw physical violence.  All I could think of was some bloody scenes from Game of Thrones.  All I could think of was someone battering the s*** out of someone.  All I could think of was black eyes and bruises.  All I could think of was how best to avoid everything that I was thinking of.

And lo and behold, I responded to the prompt with a haiku.

Once I hit the “Publish” button, I went on to check other blogs [which I am aware I have mentioned earlier].  I must say I read many, *like*d all the posts I read, commented on a few and then returned to my own blog to attempt writing again.  I just felt like writing my actual thought process, which is what I am doing now.

I am a lazy kinda person so getting one post out normally does it for me, but somehow it didn’t today.

Anyway, besides all my thoughts on physical violence on seeing Bludgeon, it also got me thinking about the physical pain that would ensue such bludgeoning.  The thought of pain got me thinking about how verbal blows can also inflict pain.  The thought of verbal blows got me thinking about the many verbal abuses hurled at me over the years.  The thought of the verbal abuses got me thinking about how badly I sought for approvals for everything that I did and didn’t do.  The thought of seeking approvals got me thinking about how I gave up on myself.

I gave up on my self.  I wanted to be some other self. 

“You and your butter fingers!”  I spilled everything I held.

“You are clumsy.”  I broke everything I touched.

“You are too sensitive.”  I hid my tears.

“You are always so aggressive.”  I stopped caring.

“You are so vain, so shallow.”  I became antisocial.

I do not have any right to slight physical violence just because I was never at the receiving end.  I cannot say being “bludgeoned by a hammer” wouldn’t hurt as much, because honestly I am in no position to compare.  All I know is that I have been “bludgeoned” verbally and all I can vouch for is that these were really very painful indeed. I do not know what happens when I am being beaten black and blue, but when I was abused verbally I know I became the very abuses.  I know the battle back to my own self was long and hard and painful at every step.

Your every meek step forward is a result of the Herculean effort you muster while fixing your sight over your shoulders.  After being stripped of the last vestige of self-esteem, gaining it back intact is simply not possible.  You are doomed to live with your tattered self-esteem that may never heal completely.  You live with the broken pieces of yourself reassembled to look like someone you may never completely recognise.

SOMEDAY though you may realise you are not the abuses you were hurled at and even then…

via Daily Prompt: Bludgeon

A Phoenix of a Bridge

29 Oct

I built some Bridges;

Some I burnt, and on its ash

Another, I build.

via Daily Prompt: Bridge

A Life To Rearrange

28 Oct

As a young girl, I was beyond my age.  As a young adult, I was “13 going on 30” [and nothing like that film] –>

Everything was too childish for me when I was a child.  Everything was too lame when I was in my teens.  It is no wonder thus at 24, I already had a CAREER!  A great job!  A wonderful boyfriend!!  A perfect life!!!

At 24, I had a nervous breakdown.

How could I have a PERFECT life at twenty f***king four!!!

At 24, I began asking questions.

Is this it?

What’s there to strive for once you’ve achieved perfection!!

Could it mean that I might die young!

YOUNG!!!  I realised that I had never ever realised I was “young” until that very moment.

At 25, I quit my GREAT job.

At 25, I broke up with my WONDERFUL boyfriend.

At 25, I began a life that would never ever be perfect again.

After quitting the corporate world, I worked at a burger-shop on weekdays and sometimes at weekends I took up jobs like babysitting, dog-sitting, house-sitting, any other sitting and standing whatever the sh** was available.  I knew what it was like to be BROKE for the first time in my life, at 25.  I waited tables and I had to depend on “TIPS” to pay my house rent.  At 25, for the first time in my life I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life!

You see, my life looks like a puzzle with all its pieces turned back to front.  Looks like my life could do a little better with a bit of Rearrangement.  OR PERHAPS NOT!!

via Daily Prompt: Rearrange

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