Daily Prompt: Loathing & Flattery

10 Oct

via Daily Prompt: Flattery Flattery

Growing up, I knew that I was never going to be the one to turn heads… I knew myself very well… however knowing oneself too well led to low self-esteem and self-loathing.  Teenage years were the hardest as all my friends were becoming “finer with age”.  And also because my mom happened!!

My mother was the most sincere person during my teenage years.  I often heard her worrying over my acne and break-outs with her friends.  I also heard her worrying over my weight with her friends whose daughters were the perfect size.  I usually always (I don’t know how these two words go together but then again) overheard her being very sincere about her worries over my face/ body/ personality/ voice/ hair/ facial hair/ all the other hair.  Those were her worries over me which I overheard (or rather made to overhear).  Hence, words like self-worth, self-esteem flew out the window and in flew self-loathing, poor self-image.

Until…

Along came Kim.  Kim and I had been fighting the same demons, according to Kim.  According to me, Kim is wayyyyyyyy hotter than her namesake “Kardashian.”

Anyway, she taught me how we can deceive ourselves with a little bit of “self-flattery”.  So we’d stand in front of the mirror and shout “I am beautiful” or things like that, flattering ourselves FULL ON!  Then we used to laugh till our cheeks hurt.  I don’t know why but I found our little “practice” very soothing, as if I was rediscovering my own self.  It wasn’t about being beautiful or ugly, it wasn’t about being fat or skinny.  It was about accepting the truth and being able to laugh about it.  It was about accepting myself.

ugly_duckling_by_timwell-d1u33n6

Photo source

Well, I can turn heads now especially when I announce how beautiful I am and how no one may have seen anyone as beautiful.  The heads do turn – to check twice – to make sure they’ve heard me right.  Then those heads turn away.  And once again I remember Kim and I standing in front of a mirror chanting our mantra and I secretly laugh.  I’m sure the turned away heads do too.

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3 Responses to “Daily Prompt: Loathing & Flattery”

  1. Alexis Chateau October 10, 2016 at 3:52 pm #

    That’s an interesting form of self therapy.

    • s1ngal October 10, 2016 at 3:53 pm #

      Worked wonders…. somehow!! 🙂

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