Unfair in all Fairness

12 Sep

The world is an unfair place when you want it to play fair. I responded by lighting a cigarette. I know it’s lame but that’s what I did. Having had that smoking addiction for slightly less than a decade and being clean for 2 years, this is how and when I took the first step at defeat. Was it worth it?

I looked up at the grey skies above, prayed in silence as I smoked. I stubbed my third cigarette halfway because I couldn’t take it any longer. Smoking doesn’t help, never did. I knew [still do] it better. The sky’s still grey, my prayers are still falling into deaf ears. Maybe I need to scream it out loud.

I went out, cleared the weed gathered around my little space – in the hope of clearing what’s in my head, too, I guess. I stood under a cold shower to freeze the frustration. The spine-chilling water didn’t help, either. There I was trembling, gasping for warmth and “my place” is tad cleaner.

jinxed heaven?!?

I am where I wanted to be. I am where I once called it heaven. Then why is it that I feel like hell here in Heaven?

I’m not asking the world to be fair… All I’m asking is “Where did it all go wrong?”

Advertisements

8 Responses to “Unfair in all Fairness”

  1. the_lunatic September 12, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    I ask the same thing, constantly.

    • s1ngal September 12, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

      Thank u for letting me know I’m not alone in this xoxoxo

      • the_lunatic September 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

        You’re not 🙂

  2. the audacious amateur blogger September 12, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    I ask myself that almost every moment if every day. It’s a terrible way to live huh

    • s1ngal September 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

      I’m feeling better already 🙂

  3. NicoLite Великий September 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    So, here’s the third reassurance that you’re not alone in this – even though you do like to emphasize that you are single. You’re also not the only person bitching about it http://flusenkopp.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/swamped/ the best part of bitching is in the bit(e)

  4. anecdotaltales September 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm #

    Ah, but are you who you want to be? Who you’re supposed to be? That’s what gives me great comfort most days. I can’t control the world, but if I’m who I’m supposed to be then I have that to help me along.

    • s1ngal September 14, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

      Can’t answer that… Didn’t know until I was asked :$

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

A.M.Bradley

The Determined Writer

Your Nibbled News - 2017 YNN

An affable, friendly website with its readers' interests always in mind.

Duke University Press News

What's New at Duke University Press

Postcard from a Pigeon

Musings by Dermott Hayes, a writer

Seal Matches

Stories & News

My message to me

- and anyone else who may be listening

Timeandreflections

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"

Unlearning

Confessions of a Scholar Mom

Covert Novelist

Light Hearted Mysteries

Madeline Scribes

Writing about the human condition and learning to laugh about it

Musings of a Random Mind

Fiction based on reality. Any similarities to the characters and events in the life of the author are purely intentional.

Designer Sophisticate

Ramblings — Musings — Cynical conversation

Sunken Thought

Just lost brainwaves

dueyvan

I am me. Not who I was. Not what has happened.

The Hope Filled Addict

I'm Restless No More

Creating Kings

A young person's attempt to help others in attaining personal Sovereignty in a Tyrannical World.....

DCMontreal: Blowing the Whistle on Society

Eclectic social commentary with a chuckle and maybe a sting in the tail

Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman!

Descriptive writing on love, life, landscape, laughter and lodges!

juantetcts

The Courage To Shift is my Life Coach business that focuses on moving the client from victim, to VICTOR, regardless of their personal goals! Is there anything in life that you would like more of?

%d bloggers like this: