to U who Understood

20 Aug

My biggest complain as a teenager was –> Nobody understands me. And so I used to be by myself, sulking and contemplating self-destructive techniques. Then I met my first BFF a little before the final laps of my teenage years. She understood me – more than I understood myself and I still call her my BFF even though we haven’t spoken for years [unless you call a comment here and there on facebook status ~ speaking].

She accepted me for who I was ~ a cranky self-pitying teenager. She never tried to change me, nor did she once ask me why I was the way I was. However, she was vocal about her problems, her self-pitying thoughts, low self-esteem, eating disorder and all other diseases that comes along with the teens-pack. Together, while fighting against her vices, I fought mine, too. While fortifying against her insecurities, I was building my own bulwark. I was always amazed at her strength to cry and scream at me for leaving her alone or hurting her. [Until then, I thought if you confided in anyone how you’d felt hurt, the others would use it against you to hurt you again]. Through this strength of hers, I tore down the walls that held the “strong” facade and dared to leave myself vulnerable.

Then the inevitable happened – we grew up and apart.

Luckily, by the time we parted ways, I was fully armoured. I was left alone – but no longer sulking. I found a different me in solitude. I spilled my own beans with myself, I opened my closets and dared to look the skeletons in their eyes, I hung them out to dry and packed them back neatly.I have come to realise, over the years, that at times showing weakness needs more strength than showing strength itself. By laying herself bare, my BFF made me stronger because let’s face it we were on the same boat [aka ship].

The best thing that happened thereafter is –> I accepted me for who I was.

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11 Responses to “to U who Understood”

  1. Fortyteen Candles August 20, 2012 at 8:30 am #

    What a beautiful post! Many childhood friendships fade over the years, unfortunately. But the memories to treasure will always be with you:)

  2. Mustang.Koji August 20, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    Great authorship… And friends from youth are the best. You cannot have closer friends. They, as you say, accept you for who you are. You are honest with each other. I doubt if even if you develop a “BFF” after attaining adulthood, you will likely never be as open or as truthful as with a childhood friend. Stay in contact with her – albeit via the internet. 🙂

    • s1ngal August 20, 2012 at 11:29 am #

      thank you for the advice. I have sent the link to her, waiting for her to reach out albeit via the internet… doing all i can!!!

  3. anecdotaltales August 20, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    I would probably have “liked” this post just for what it was. But then you had to go and use “bulwark” and I had no choice.

    Yes, my first friend that “got me”, now referred to as The Missus, is still my best friend 15 years later. There are other friends that also get me, and probably get me just as well (better?) than she does. But darnit, we’ve got the history. She’s too big of a reason for how I turned out the way I did to stop loving.

    • s1ngal August 20, 2012 at 11:28 am #

      😀 bulwark kind of fitted well with Building and I’m happy it did.. a toast to friends :clink:

  4. inmyinternest August 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    This brought tears to my eyes! Beautiful.

    I don’t think I’ve quite acquired the strength to show vulnerability, at least not without restraint. But I’m getting there… I hope. You’re totally right, it really takes more strength to show weakness than it does to show strength! You can always fake strength but when you reveal your weakness, you’re exposing yourself.

    • s1ngal August 20, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

      thank YOU for stopping by and for the lovely comment. I still fake strength (but admit the faking when I’m back with myself).

      • inmyinternest August 21, 2012 at 5:14 am #

        I’m glad I stopped by! I also followed you so I’m hoping to stop by again. 🙂

        I guess everyone must fake strength from time to time. You can’t ALWAYS wear your heart on your sleeve! At least, I don’t think so? It occurred to me that people who are completely defenceless emotionally, always showing their genuine reactions, are either lovely or very irritating, depending on how well you like that person’s general mindset. 🙂


  1. a Century Later « s1ngal - September 27, 2012

    […] remember this one VERY clearly. Anecdotal Tales at had commented on my post and I was so touched, I wanted to pen a poem dedicating it to them ~ it was a disaster. Anecdotal […]

  2. I’ve come a LONG way | s1ngal - July 31, 2013

    […] times were a changing…. In high school, I met this amazing friend who accepted me with all these vices. I’m still and will always be grateful for her for what […]

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