Archive | August, 2012

the Longing

29 Aug

“…listen to me”

I can’t speak

“…but you promised”

I swallow the words.

I wish I had spoken then

Reminded you of the vow taken


I held my breath

choked back my words,

strangled and suffocated.

I suffered,

the hurt and the pain.

I wanted out

But I stayed in,

Longing for the exit

I fizzled out, I perished.

[I actually wrote this for Rant Poetry Competition but……]

Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Blogging

29 Aug

I loved walking around my neighbourhood, as a kid, for kicks of course. Very often, I used to stop by a house and stare at it for a long time imagining every little activity happening inside. I used to imagine the colour of the walls, the smell of the kitchen and the sound of their lives. Every house housed a unique story, courtesy my imagination.

Walks to remember

I knew all the houses by heart and by story. And so, on one of my ramblings, I stopped by a house as I heard a beautiful sort of tinkling sound just as I was passing by. I began noticing that every time I reached that particular bend I would hear the same sound – a beautiful sound.  From then on, I made a point to stop at that bend for a few moments to enjoy the sound.

I never dared tell anyone about this little adventure of  mine, for fear that someone might accuse me of eavesdropping. But then slowly, the cynic in me began doubting this little sound – that emanated out of nowhere just as I would pass the bend. So one day, I decided to unveil this mystery. I stood there (challenging my little self) to uncover the truth.

~ Where was this sound coming from?

~ Why does it come when I’m passing by?

~ Was anyone making a fool out of me?

No amount of preparation would have prepared me for this moment of truth…

Yes, it was the wind-chime: not too visible for a passer-by but subtly audible for ones who had the ears for it. [The amount of intense staring I indulged to uncover this mystery sound could have easily got me into trouble as a trespasser had I not been 8 years old].

Even to this day when I hear the *chimes*, my heart skips a beat as I am transported back in time.

Even to this day, I fight the urge to own a wind-chime. I don’t have one and I’ll never have one. This is a sacred sound, a sound of childhood serendipity and I want it to be thus for all eternity.

Five Fine Films

28 Aug

I love watching movies. PERIOD.  I also love watching the same movie over and over again. I watch movies of all genre and I don’t pick the movies ~ they pick me [pathetic attempt at being pathetic, I guess].

Hence, below are my most watched movies of all times in the order of *the times I’ve watched them*.

Number 5

Crashing in the fifth position, with 7.0 IMDb rating, is……. a sports movie – WE ARE MARSHALL. And like many sports movie, this too is based on a true incident. A good-looking hunk Mr. McConaughey [who I’d underestimated in the acting part] bowled me over with his transformation as a football coach. It’s such an inspiring movie that whenever I need the feel to boost my self-worth, I watch it and it is quite often, if I may add. No wonder it’s made it into my list. [Other sports movie I loved, liked and cried rivers over but didn’t make it here are ~ Rudy and Remember the Titans].

Why do I keep watching this movie? It’s because this movie has made me see winning isn’t everything, at times not giving up is a victory in itself.

Number 4

The movie that’s made into my number Four is the one that got Mr. Mark Wahlberg [one of the eight men I’d give up my single-hood for] his first Oscar nomination. Big names, twisted plot and still a great movie that I keep coming back to 😉 I watched this movie for Marky Mark and will keep watching for him again. He is the biggest *motive* behind this movie appearing here in this list.

It would’ve climbed  higher if not for Jack Nicholson. Sorry but I can’t stand the guy and despise him even more in this movie. aaargh Every silver lining has a dark ugly cloud, metaphorically speaking where silver lining is Mark and dark ugly cloud is jack nicholson.

Number 3

In the 3rd place is “Spirited Away”. It’s one of the most amusing animated movies I’ve enjoyed watching over and over and over again. The characters Haku and Chihiro are so animatedly real. I love the way the story unfolds and folds. I didn’t know it had won an Oscar Award in the year 2001 for Best Animated feature :0

I simply love the simple story line, the aesthetically appealing animation and the spirited-away feeling it brings about every time I watch it.

Number 2

The runner up for my Five Fine films is SNATCH  and trust me when I say I’ve lost count as to how many times I’ve watched this movie. I know the movie back to front and still enjoy every second of it.

This movie had me at “What do I know about diamonds…? Don’t they come from Antwerp?”

I love the exasperated/ frustrated conversation between Vinny and Sol, Turkish and Tommy… and Bricktop is scary as hell and I know I can go on and on and on about this one here. It’s hilariously witty or is it wittily hilarious. Just the thought of this movie is enough to crack me up 😀

Number ONE

AND now the finest film AND my top most watched Movies.

By mentioning this movie itself, I feel I’m doing less than justice to it. Forgive me Miramax but this movie’s been my therapy for a long long time to discard it NOW.

So my most watched movie of all time ISSSSSSSSSSS….. GOOD WILL HUNTING

Even as I was typing those 3 words, the music began to play in my mind. It’s only after I started blogging that I have stopped watching this movie. Otherwise I was used to watching this movie every night, EVERY NIGHT and I’m not exaggerating when I say that this was my weekend movie, weekday movie, feel-good movie, weak-day movie, strong day movie, breakfast movie, lunch movie, bed-time movie and every other genre I have for movies. For me, this movie is timeless.

Maybe the love for this movie comes from the fact that I can relate to Will Hunting in a lot of ways, except for his gift for mathematics.   The first time I watched this movie [a long long time back] I gaped and gasped when Sean says “Maybe you’re perfect right now, maybe you don’t wanna ruin that…” I knew then that he was talking to me. I have grown up from that stage to where I am today but had it not been for Will and Sean, maybe I’d have been a different ME.

Some lines are pretty corny but the emotional healing is just what I always count on while watching this movie.

Some movies that may make it to this list someday —>

6. The Devil Wears Prada

7. Up

8. My Best Friend’s Wedding

9. Crazy Stupid Love

10. Crash

to P who Pays (a monthly visit)

27 Aug

…if you’re a woman and you know it… [errr well] clap your hands [I guess].


Well, this post is about Miss P who Pays me a monthly visit and to all the *ladies* out there and maybe JB above [exceptions: Little ladies, Elderly ladies and Expecting ladies].  Miss P is what sets us apart from our male counterparts and thus makes us oh-so-very special.

Before Miss P paid me her first visit, I was used to listening to painful and sometimes scary stories from friends who were well acquainted, already. And so, one sunny Saturday she paid me an unexpected visit ~ seconds later I became a woman (??). I didn’t like her at all. According to my adolescent self, she crippled me; crippled me from running free… [I have changed my mind and become more positive about her, over the years].

Miss P has been nice to me. Maybe, because I had this reservation about her and it’s like she’s trying to prove me wrong. She comes regularly and without any baggage. She warns me before her arrival ~ a gentle knock [i.e. a light tug in the inside of my naval area] and she always comes on weekends. The only time she doesn’t come on weekends is when I am absolutely busy. She is then very considerate about visiting me when I’m likely to have a lot of rest or when there’s a public holiday around. I don’t know how she’s managed to be this good to me, but I feel lucky about all this.

One day a friend remarked, “You always get your period when we’re traveling.”

My answer, “That’s because I always get my period during holidays.”

On the first day of her visit, she’s very easy around me (as if she doesn’t want to burden). The second day, she works efficiently and from the third evening she starts making her absence felt. On the fourth she simply leaves traces as a reminder that she had been there. She leaves quietly on the 5th day until she knocks on the door with a gentle tug again –> next month.

Only recently, when a colleague began complaining about insufferable Miss P who, according to her, comes with cramps, backaches, irregularity and so on did I realise how lucky I’ve always been :knocks on wood: Once in the bluest moon, she does come my way with a little bit of bloating, lethargy and slight exhaustion – but nothing that can’t be cured with a little rest. And like I said earlier, she visits me when I have ample time to rest, I have no excuse [whatsoever] to complain.

It really does take others’ misfortune to count on one’s blessing! I love my Miss P because I know how troublesome she could have been… Period.

on be1ng s1ngle

25 Aug

Being Single

Before I forget the fact that this blog is about me being single, here’s a post on being single. I’ve been carried away as I have been writing for other categories [easier in comparison to this one]. The other categories may not always be about my single life.  If anyone stumbles into my blog, and going by the blog’s name, assumes this blog is about some wild rantings by and on a single-by-choice life, then I want them to find something meaty here. So this is one of many peeks into being single.

There was a time when I wanted to be single and here I am still wanting to be single.

Some things don’t change and am I happy about it.

Why am I happy?

–> Because being single lets me decide who I’d give up my single-hood for. You need not feel guilty even if you are eying someone who’s beyond you – as long as you’re single, you DO have a chance. I have my prospective eights [], to whom I’ve dedicated a post and struck a deal with [the deal’s been sealed, signed and approved from my end].

even with all the nudity… I DO guilt-less fancy you…

–> Because being single lets me lose weight easily. How? Well, I’m single and a bad cook, besides. But that’s not it. I’ve noticed one BIG difference between a single’s fridge and others’.  When you’re not single, there’s always food, always : I DARE YOU TO CORRECT ME, anyone??? So now imagine what happens to a pound-wise yet penniless s1ngal who comes back home to an empty fridge. She goes to sleep, empty stomach. Result – weight loss.


my mood or MY MOOD

–> Because my life depends on my MOOD. Anything can happen any-when. I make things happen. I want to blog, I blog – whether it’s dinner time, breakfast time,  3.11 am in the morning. Ican wake up in the middle of the night because I realise I’d forgotten to *like* the post that I’d actually liked.




–> Because the TV belongs to me. I can watch whatever I like and not just the recorded versions. I can turn it off at the 89th minute during a football match between Italy and Spain and go to sleep peacefully because I can always google the result, later.

the REMOTE’s mine, I WIN I WIN

–> Because I can talk to a life-sized Teddy who listens and agrees with me in respectful silence… and there isn’t anyone judging me for this. I carry it with me wherever I go, trust me Teddy doesn’t complain. It’s always there for a bear-hug and  turns into a pillow when mine falls off the bed.

more later… i.e. when i can think of some more “because…”

Trust me there are plenty more… because I’m single, I have decided to end

this post here, to be continued later (when I feel like it).

There – one more reason I’m happy being single.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Urban

24 Aug



shows the day…

Travel Theme: Silhouette

24 Aug

Among many subjects I love love to photograph, silhouettes have always fascinated me… My pictures below are my attempt at capturing these silhouettes ~ to see real ones, please visit this blog [Silhouette theme and pics by Alisa] –>

Follow the finger—>

this is what ~cloud 9 ~ looks like, perhaps…

To the HERO, Living Strong

24 Aug

USADA to strip Lance Armstrong of 7 Tour Titles: Are you KIDDING?


Living strong


“There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to say, ‘Enough is enough.’ For me, that time is now,” Armstrong said. He called the USADA investigation an “unconstitutional witch hunt.”

“I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999,” he said. “The toll this has taken on my family and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today — finished with this nonsense.”

Well, whether USADA or any other ASSada may allege/ accuse or strip those titles, LANCE ARMSTRONG is a hero, a super-hero who’s taught us all to LIVE STRONG.

Either we have our unsung heroes – who we lament about in retrospect [read regret] – or we try to crush the heroes who we have sung for… As I see it – First you are a nobody –> you struggle your A off –> maybe become somebody [after all] –> “they” take away everything –> allege and accuse you [don’t even know what that word signifies] until you become “nobody” again… :sighs:

The face of “legitimate” rape

23 Aug


gnostic bent

Raped, pregnant and ordeal not over –

I have to get serious for a moment and share this truly upsetting yet poignant story about Shauna Prewitt, a Chicago lawyer who was raped, impregnated, conceived, birthed a beautiful daughter and then got sued by her rapist for parental rights!

It is shocking and in many ways, beyond words. I must press on.

We all know that raped women who testify against their attackers in court almost always become the true objects of scrutiny. The American justice system treats them as if they are the guilty ones, and similar opinions pervade in our society.

“If she didn’t want it to happen, then why was she wearing that skimpy outfit?” people sometimes say. “She was drunk and brought it on herself.”

Just typing that made me cringe, but I’ve heard it before. Ignorance in all its glory.

What I find…

View original post 112 more words

5 Feel-alive

22 Aug

Life gets so monotonous at times that I dread calling it living. I dare not call myself dead either – because I am a breathing being until the day/ night when the elementary routine of breathing in and out ceases…

There are few things that push me to the edge, however, and remind me “Hey, I may be living…. after all”  These are simple things, really simple ones. I’m not an adrenaline junkie so I don’t go to extremes and these simple everyday things do make me feel alive.

I wanted to post Celine Dion’s “Alive” video but I’m a technically-challenged cave-girl.

My 5 feel-alive:

1. Hunger: I don’t feel hungry often…

Like the many slips between the cup and the lips – many treats slip through my lips and obviously and obliviously, both, I’m snacking on some fries and deep-fries… Until one day when I begin noticing all my normal tops have morphed into figure-hugging ones. The binge-eating stops and I go back to 3.5 meals a day.

Then comes a time when I don’t have time to eat. So I skip breakfast and then run the errands to realise I’m broke and i can’t afford to get a quick bite. So I come back home famished and all burned out – open the fridge and gasp in shock at :NOTHING: The rumbling stomach bellows, roars and thunders – I’m exasperated, devastated. But I manage to crack a smile – because at that very point I do feel *alive*. I don’t know how or why…. but just then is when I “Feel Alive”.

2. Anger: The rage that boils inside threatening to erupt like a volcano – stays put. I get angry at times, so angry that the blood boils beyond the boiling point. I want to shoot-at-sight people who are responsible for it. I picture the most sadistic torture for these people and it enrages me more to know that all I can do is IMAGINE slapping them, twisting them until their bones snap. And then I laugh out loud – a split-second before the volcano erupts – for at this moment, too, I feel alive.

3. Slumber: Sleeping and sleep-induced dreaming make me feel alive too. Running all day from one end to the other to make both ends meet, at the end of the day I like to lie down on my IKEA couch bed – worn out, yet loved, despite the springs inside which poke me like crazy  – and fall asleep, just like that. The dream that ensues brings about the feel-more-alive feel.

4. Heartbreak: When my heart gets broken – obviously because the expectations were never lived up to – I break down. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a Shakespearean kind of tragedy – or even a failed romance. My heart gets broken a lot because I wear my heart on my sleeves and I am a proud owner of rose coloured glasses. As I cry rivers and oceans for yet another broken heart, the little voice inside my head merges into a mirth – for even then I feel strangely alive.

5. A cold shower: I wear this as a medallion. No matter how chilly the weather , I can stand under the jet of a cold shower. In my friends’ circle, this is how I may have become a legend. When that first few icy cold drops hit my warm unprepared [no matter what] body –> I do let out a sigh, I hold my breath, the teeth start clattering, the hands tremble and I feel alive, completely.

I know I can…

All the pointers were rhyming except the *Heartbreak* [right in the middle of nowhere ~ without the “er”]. Hunger, Anger, Slumber and Shower [even]… Heartbreak may sound like no rhyme or reason, but it isn’t and also please note that I have successfully resisted the temptation to write *Heart breaker*.

Photo Courtesy:–hungry-spider–turtle


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