Yesterday, I felt like going through my 2012 journal… I have not so mysteriously come into re-possessing my journals and some old books… I have become quite enraptured with the idea of de-cluttering… I am obsessed with the idea of having no past (in writing)…. I have been condemning them thus to ashes and to dust… HOWEVER, I couldn’t quite burn this particular journal before going through it once…. which is why yesterday I went through my 2012 journal as I felt like it for no particular reason.
As I went back in time, I began almost immediately to regret having burnt the others…. But then again, going through 2012 took me back in time where along with some fun memories laid sleeping dogs that should have been let to lie forever…. The feeling of regret trying to creep out and shame me instead hid its face into sweet nothing!!!!
And now that I’ve written about going through an old diary, I must (without any obligation) share some finds…. Needless to say, I must also admit my capacity to amaze or rather shock myself, especially in “retrospect”…. Whenever I’ve looked back at my own self, I have looked nothing more than pathetic and naively even more pathetic…. I have asked my old self, the one who’d written down meaningless gibberish, WHY???
In any case, I found out yesterday that I might have read Robin Sharma (dunno anything else, not the writer nor his books as of now) once and I had copied down things that might have felt very important then….. Hence, in an attempt to know myself better, I’ll put it down here….. In around 2020 I might be asking WHY for sure…..BUT for now why not….
1. Bless your money (bless everybody that it touches and command it to come back to you a million fold)
2. Schedule worry breaks (30 minutes to worry, to wallow, brood over difficulties)
[NB I dunno if the following are from the same book]
3. Be unorthodox – read everyday something no one else is reading. Thunk everyday something no one else is thinking.
4. Increase your value – think thoughts no one is thinking, acquire skills no one has, read books no one else is reading.
5. TO GET MORE FROM LIFE, you need to be MORE IN LIFE.
PS: “Judging” not allowed period
It’s been ages since I last even made an attempt to write… and writing like a habit long forgotten is hard to pick up again.
Talking of long-forgotten habits, I have been smoke-free for more than half a dozen months – a habit I’m in no mood to pick back up ever again.
I don’t even know if I can get back into writing regularly but then again just felt like writing a few lines!!!! Who knows…scratch that…who cares what’s in store!!!
Like my life, you pour
Gush, surge, roar, rushing below.
Turn skyward – flow.
My shot at haiku after a long hiatus. Maybe I’ll be regular now, thanks to–> the course https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-201-water/
I was looking for something.
Or maybe just because
I looked lost… as if I had lost it all.
Maybe that’s why
He came running to me
Or maybe that’s why
He felt he owed me what he’d found.
“You’ve lost it, haven’t you?” He grinned.
“Maybe I have” I may have said.
Maybe that’s why
His grin stretched wider.
Like a magician he pulled out
What could be what I’d lost.
“May I?” Politely, this time he asked.
“Please” my politer response.
“23… Huh?” he quizzed.
“Ahem” I cleared my throat.
“Kenya… Must have enjoyed a lot!”
I must have replied with a smirk.
“Holy city…!?!” he winked, continued
“Europe… Must have been a blast”
I must have looked bored by then,
Or a girl seriously interrupted.
As if on cue, he got up
And handed me a passport.
“Thank your stars” he waved
“Why stars… Thank me” he went on.
I looked on, star-gazing style
As he sauntered away.
Well, I don’t quite remember what I was looking for
If at all I was looking for something.
But now i must surely look for some Nina-who,
Cause she has to be looking for her passport for sure.
Disclaimer: a completely fictitious piece
Living comes.with many unanswered questions…
One doesn’t have to always be the curious cat!
One doesn’t always have to be a victim of some curious case… the questions just arise…
Such questions I have far too many… But for now presenting my first 5 why’s.
Why this picture... pray don't ask!!!
1. Why don’t I fall asleep when I really badly want to fall asleep?
2. Why can’t I quit smoking even though I pretend to have quit it??
3. Why do I end up working alongside the most pathetically obnoxious colleagues???
4. Why does Readers Digest never publish anything I send to them????
5. Why is my skin always so uneven?????
Until another episode of some more questions!!!
Well, my transition back to the BIG city has been anything but easy. Life in the country may have seemed difficult at times especially when one just wanted to go out and dance or when one wanted to splurge on designer outfits (not that one would have ever dared do anything like that anywhere)… You know what I’m h saying. So yes those were the shortcomings there and so I had to pack my bags and head back…
Only to realise how tougher it’s got to actually SURVIVE here… there’s just no space to lay back to lead a laidback life. But then again I’m not in anyway saying I want an easy laidback life. Life here is just about running from one end to another in pursuit of making ends meet. Almost two months down, I am exhausted. I’ve become a zombie sans cannibalism and thanks to the timely Christmas respite, I’m respiting (I know there’s no word as such but no other could justify how I’m feeling now).
Okay… Now in the course of the last few months I’ve taken odd jobs here and there and thence have come to know why they’re called odd jobs. Well because they’re not EVEN and these jobs are so far from being fair. The pay is less but to give them up was like giving up your whole day’s effort (in terms of your game) to the hyenas and vultures swarming down for your carcass. So I took the jobs, I worked like a workaholic gone madly workaholic… Last weekend I worked from sun up to sundown (no biggie I know) to sun up to yet another sundown. So I’ve witnessed unwillingly the pale sunrise, the invisible sunset (because I live in the city now, duh!!!), the twilights, the new moon and the breaking dawns. Not the movies… Aaargh!!! The real ones…. And if you are interested to see them for real (the way I have), work like a workaholic going madly workaholic and I guarantee you, you will see them.
At the end of the day (read blog) I’d like to.wish you all…
And here’s hoping year 2015 will bring joy to everyone and to me a nice comfy job which won’t turn me into a zombie for peanuts.