Yep, call me SELFISH

6 Dec

Often we are victims of injustice because (let’s face it) Life doesn’t play Fair.  Thus, often the question is how we fare after we’ve been served the “injustice”.

Growing up and so growing older than I ever was, I have understood that embracing such injustice with grace is more graceful than whining and sulking in a corner.  Playing the victim, playing the martyr was like playing dead – it had no life.  So, why live lifeless by being the martyr.

I learned this valuable lesson two years ago when I was going through some hard times in life.  I was friendless… utterly hopeless… and lifeless.  Let me try explaining the whys and the hows.

I bumped into this old friend two years ago.  This old friend and I had been through some rough times together, in the past.  We weren’t the “BFFs” but we were the sort of “friends in need” at that time in the past.  And now, there she was… all smiles… she used her “reprimanding tone” asking me why I hadn’t stayed in touch… blah blah. As for me, I felt slightly awkward [for my own personal reasons] but then again we spoke very politely to each other, steering clear from speaking about our “rough times.”

Fast forward one month.  I bumped into the same old friend again.  This time she wasn’t alone.  She had two friends in tow, and they looked like they were having a great time.  Once again we exchanged pleasantries… this time I was slightly more friendlier than the earlier meet.  I was more relaxed.  But something about the friend told me she didn’t want me there.  For a person who only needs the subtlest hint of such kind, I excused myself.  As I was walking away, I heard her whisper-confessing to her friends “I can’t remember her name…”

That whisper disturbed me for weeks afterwards.  My mind was filled with questions.  Did she deliberately intend for me to hear those words?  How could she have forgotten my name after only a month of bumping into each other?  How could she, who had remembered my name after two years of not seeing each other, have forgotten my name?  Why would she pretend to have forgotten my name?

And I fell into that abyss… everyday I woke up with the same questions… the more I asked myself these questions, the more I curled up in bed… the more I curled up in bed, the more depressed I became… the more depressed I became, the less I went out… the less I went out, the more I felt sad… the sadder I felt, the more depressed I got… the more depressed I got, the more suicidal I felt… I became the victim and so I played the martyr.

Looking back, I can only think of a month that I’ll never ever get back. 

So, I have decided never to play the victim again, no matter how unfair my life turns out.  I have decided never to let my precious time be ruined by such worthless beings.  I have decided never to waste my seconds dwelling on such schmucky gunks ever, and if I ever do… it will only be to produce a post on my blog…. O yeah?!  Go… go ahead and call me SELFISH and see if it matters.  PFFT


via Daily Prompt: Martyr

Vanish, if you must

5 Dec

People say I am very good at “the vanishing act”. I do not doubt the “people”.  So from an expert, in case you might want to carry out “the vanishing act”, here are 5 things you need to do to VANISH into thin air:

  1. De-activate your Facebook account.
  2. Quit your full-time job, do some freelancing instead.
  3. Get a new mobile number.
  4. Get a new hairstyle.
  5. Travel to a new place (at least for a month).

What makes me the expert???  Well, I have burnt bridges… I have burnt so many of them that if this were literal, I would have ashes measuring the height of [probably] the Eiffel Tower…   Yes, oh yes, I do exaggerate… But then again, I have burnt bridges a lot… you know what I mean…

Do I have regret burning bridges?  No.  When you know the bridges are weighing you down, methinks it’s better to burn them instead of getting weighed down.  As a young woman, I wasted my time and energy in trying to save the bridges that were drowning me.  Then, I used to think that the only way to keep myself from drowning was to be weighed down by the bridge that was already under water.  So, no regrets, whatsoever.

Although I do think of the relationships that I have had to forsake.  They were good friends… great friends… at one point of time.  Misunderstanding, miscommunication, misapprehension, misreading expressions, misleading conclusions, mistaken mistakes and many more mis-es led up to the demise of such relationships.  I say demise because these burnt bridges, these ended friendships, can never be rebuilt, can never be rekindled.

Soon, we learn to leave with who we have.  Soon, we don’t need the urge to vanish. Soon, other people will fill the places left vacant.  Slowly we heal, and surely with scars.

So, let us not worry about vanishing, if that helps us give our “self” back.  So, let us not worry about burning bridges, if that helps us from keeping afloat.  So let us vanish if we must!!!

via Daily Prompt: Vanish

Sacred Memory

4 Dec

I grew up secular with my atheist dad.  So, I can’t recall any memory that could mean sacred.  However, I do remember  an incident where, in my pre-teens, I did get initiated into a SACRED circle.

We had just moved to a new town and so the idea of a new neighbourhood was super exciting for me.  I was a curious kinda nerd eager to explore the neighbourhood and forget the fact that I was a nerd.  The best place about moving to a new place is that one can start anew.  I didn’t want to be the nerd anymore and this was the break I needed.

Soon enough I became friends with a girl not quite next door.  I was floored by this new girl and her effervescent personality.  I immediately knew I had to be friends with her.  After all she was everything I wasn’t and this was the break I was desperately looking for.  I wanted to tell the world that we were BFFs but only I knew it better.  Instead I began biding my time for the right moment.

She couldn’t be BFFs with me until her friends approved.  She spoke of her friends the way I would have spoken of her.  She was in all awe of her friends.  She told me how cool all the girls were.  There were four of them in the “gang” – the cool gang.  Then she told me that the four of them made the sacred circle.  She wasn’t very confident if I would be accepted in the “circle” but she convinced me she’d do her best to get me in.

Finally, the day came for my initiation.  All morning I had been bugging my new friend to give me tips on how to confirm my position into the circle.  Suddenly, she was very mum about the whole thing, after all she said this was sacred. Then it was that time.  I was asked several questions on stuff I no longer remember… I answered with confidence [nerd that I was, it was relatively easier than I had thought].  Then the final hurdle.  I had to smoke pot.  What did they know!!!  I happened to be the kinda nerd who loved all things pot.

I was initiated.

The magic was gone.

I left the sacred circle.

It was all childish, very very childish.  The only thing I regret is how I had waited with abated breath to be a part of the sacred circle.  And with all things that you set very high expectations, the return can always be devastatingly charmless.  And thus, once I made into the circle, I realised they were as ordinary as I was and no amount of pot could change that fact.

Daily Prompt: Sacred

Uniphilarsian- One who loves, regards, and watches over the unique aspect of every person‬. — Diamond Mike Watson

4 Dec

The I have been asked about my religion. I have also been questioned about my ethnicity. My hair was always dark and curly. My skin color says olive on my amended birth certificate. Being adopted without knowing my birth family, that question was always impossible to answer. I have been asked about my sexual preference […]

via Uniphilarsian- One who loves, regards, and watches over the unique aspect of every person‬. — Diamond Mike Watson

Disintegrating the Panoply

3 Dec

Panoply = Pa No Ply… this one’s like a request to Pa not to Ply…

Panoply = Pan o’ ply… this one’s like pan of fly (with a slip of the tongue lips)

Panoply = Pa Nop Ly… this is like threatening Pa not to lie anymore but like in “texting” language

Panoply = Pano Ply… this is like someone yelling “Piano Play” in an accent unheard of.

Panoply = Pan up Lee… this is like monopoly with a pan… errrrr… well this one could be the real panoply… like the real real panoply…

panoply
ˈpanəpli/
noun
noun: panoply; plural noun: panoplies
  1. an extensive or impressive collection.
    “a deliciously inventive panoply of insults”
    synonyms: array, range, collection

    “the full panoply of America’s military might”

Disclaimer: I post posts like the one above when I’m at my wit’s end.  It is also important to note here that I’m usually at my wit’s end… it’s like my wit’s always at end and so it often is a wonder why I’m blogging… errr or rather pretending to blog… But then again, this is just a disclaimer.  Peace Out!

via Daily Prompt: Panoply

Relax

3 Dec

My response to this week’s photo challenge – RELAX.

Relax

This week, share a photo that relaxes you.

img_7719

The way I see it…. There is no better way to relax than to sit on a park bench and look at the sky…

Oh Echo

1 Dec

1.

ECHO))))))))))))))))))))

WEYKOH…. EYKOH… EYKO… EKO… KO… KO… O…. O….. O…. o……. o…………

OR is it this way…?

2.

ECHO))))))))))))))))))))

WEYKOH…. WEYKO… WEYK… WEYK… WEY… WEY… EY…. Ey….. ey…. ey…….

3.

Echo [???] – a gecko without the /ɡ/

4.

Echo friendly [?!?] – Eco friendly with an ‘h’

5.

There are days when the moment you LOOK  0_0 at the prompt and words swoop rushing in… and then there are days when you LOOK, stare, LOOK on, stare on, on and on and on and on until you wish that sights could start echoing… but sights no make echos, only sounds make them so… and so once again a post that makes less than zilch meaning.


And once again… yes I write to write… and Daily Prompts do help.


via Daily Prompt: Echo

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