could’ve been blog o’clock, but for this writer’s block… sigh
ALL THE HELP U CAN GIVE, PLS
Originally posted on Thoughts of a Lunatic:
I remember thinking, “That is the worst thing I have ever seen,”
and then you decide to prove me wrong
over and over again.
You one-up yourself,
and instead of relief,
you get thrown new horror every single day,
that is worst than the last.
I will never unsee the way you pleaded with me. The look in your eyes as you stared at me, begging for refuge.
I will never unsee the way you twisted and contorted your body for hours on end. The seizures that took four of us to hold you down. The hallucinations that made you scream and bawl in terror. For five hours, mom, Alex, and I stood holding your body. I think we left pieces of our souls on the floor that night.
I will never unsee the day I stood beside you as you got your pic-line, and your epidural, and how you…
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It could be a shot taken during your morning walk, the morning vista out your kitchen window, your cat doing a pre-breakfast stretch, or a textured close-up of your oatmeal bubbling away at the stove.
Morning’s a struggle
yearning for a snuggle
An unkempt bed, a manhandled bear stealing a snooze while I have to make ends meet – that’s my morning glory.
My contribution to this week’s writing challenge is a poem.
My DNA Analysis
Who am I
or what am I
is the question.
To be who I am
or to be what I am
is the question, too.
A mother’s daughter
without much resemblance
but for a smile.
A father’s daughter
without much perseverance
but for an idea.
In between, I remain
in a limbo, akimbo.
You look like your dad, they say
Aye, you sound like your mom
Listen to her, will you? say they.
Aargh! I say
Leave me alone, I say
Let me be me, I say
No hearsay, this is who I say
Or is it what I say.
Who am I? Why am I?
How am I?
When am I?
A little bit of him
and his shared bits of them
And the rest – of her
and her share of theirs
A little bit of something
some bits of nothing
And nothing much of everything.
I am nothing without them -
Or am I
Or am I nothing because
This is who I am.
what I am.
That care in her touch!
Hold my hand, son
to the bus, we’ll walk
That trouble of letting go!
Off you go… careful
There you are
Are you comfortable
That smile in her face!
my little darling son
won’t you always be little for me
The way she beams!
hope pride delight
Now, I may have chosen to be single but it doesn’t mean I have been able to dodge the stupid arrows from the Cupid. I have loved, laboured and lost ~ all for the LOVE of being single.
Some of the relationships I’ve had almost foiled my quest BUT in the end these have taught me lessons to last this single’s lifetime!!!
The first fling is actually about my first fling. The second one may not be my second fling so just cut me a slack here. We were both very young and highly experimental. His experiment was related to substance abuse [Isn't that a better word for drug addiction?] while I was experimenting on my observational skills.
After the doomed much-awaited break-up, we became buddies. What he said then has in a way shaped me for who I have become after. “You accepted me with the addiction and all, no one’s every done that before.” It was nice to be acknowledged.
But what’s important is the life’s great lesson I learnt and thus resolved that substance abuse is going to be non-existent in my world. I learnt drugs can ruin lives. Maybe that’s one reason why I turned a teetotaler (only drug I’m struggling to beat being that nicotine).
The second fling, being mentioned here, taught me all that I could know about art. When he talked to me about Monet, I googled “MONAY”. I was that bad.
I understood and learnt a lot about art, to be able to see him eye to eye maybe but it definitely helped me. I started frequenting art exhibitions and suddenly it was a whole different world.
I started writing, even. As it is when we talk about artists they’re not just limited to canvasses now, are they?
The third fling proved to me that Hollywood romances aren’t just for the movies. He was just another regular guy and love for movies is what had brought us closer enough to fall in love with each other.
He showed me what “kindness of a stranger” phrase can actually do in reality. The lesson I learnt from him is that it doesn’t take a lot nor does it cost a penny to make another being happy. It was wonderful being with him and I am a changed person, in a lot of way, thanks to him.
The fourth fling I am going to mention never had that fairy-tale sorta beginning nor the end. However, what I learnt from that relationship may be worth a lot. This guy taught me how to laugh my way out of adversity. Sense of humour and how desperately we need it is what I learnt from him.
He was this kind of a guy who would say the worst possible thing in a way you wouldn’t know how to react but to laugh out loud. Maybe because of this fling, I am able to see humour in everything good or bad. I don’t know how good or bad it actually is, though.
The fifth fling taught me everything there is to know about L.O.V.E.
The most important lesson I learnt then was – there is such a thing as “unconditional love”. The relationship did not end in a “happily ever after” in retrospect but while we were at it, happily ever after was as close as it could get.
All’s well that ends with a lesson learnt well…
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."
Just keep writing...
Resources to Help You to Write (and Finish!) Your Memoir
Stuff and things.
"You become what you think" - Ralph Waldo Emerson. I think I am a writer, do you agree?
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu
When my mind wanders this is the result
Personal Blog of Alex Markovich: if you enjoyed any of my photos I can send it to you as a postcard (free of charge) – in exchange, I would appreciate if you mention it in your blog or your social network. If you, or one or more of your friends, is the owner of the cafe, bar or a restaurant, head of the library or an exhibition hall, I am pleased to offer you a sufficient number of my original photographs to display for a photo exhibition, titled “Rural Russia”.
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